What's that? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a giant column of incoming text! Seriously, how do you even get that stuff confused? Anyway, I hope you guys are ready for part two of Sunday, because if you're not I will walk to your house, grab you by the neck, and force-feed the text through your eyes. That will be all.
Enjoy!
11:56 AM
Johnny Cage, Sonya, Jax, Stryker, and Skarlet are sitting at a large table, eating lunch at the Deadly Alliance of Chefs Syndicate restaraunt, and Johnny Cage is currently telling his tale of a tragic event earlier that morning.
Johnny Cage: So just yesterday, I was rehearsing for that school play when out of nowhere this guy walks up to me and says I have talent. Shows me his business card and it turns out he’s some famous movie director.
Jax: You got jumped by a movie director rehearsing for a school play? My ******** detector just went through the roof!
Johnny Cage: I’m telling you it’s true!
Sonya: Just let him finish Jax. I’m interested in hearing what movie he was obviously signed up for.
Johnny Cage: Anyway, he says he’ll sign me up for a 500 grand contract to act in this movie if I let him adopt me.
Stryker: Adoption? Pimpin’
Johnny Cage: Not the adjective I’d use to describe it, but yeah. It was pretty awesome. Not only am I actually gonna have parents, but I get a 500 grand movie contract in the process.
Sonya: This sounds too good to be true. You sure you’re not embellishing your tale just a little bit?
Johnny Cage: As it turns out, it was to good to be true. Turns out, both my new parents are extremely rich, to the point of my mom having this sick Ferarri.
Stryker: Ferarri? Pimpin’
Johnny Cage: Again not the word I’d use to describe it, but yeah. It was pretty ****ing sick. Anyway, what with me being their new son and all, they actually said I could take it out for a drive as an adoption present.
Sonya, laughing: I think I see where this is going.
Johnny Cage: Anyway, I drive up to Armageddon Pancakes for some breakfast, parking the car just like I would every other day and head in. I head into the store and the car’s fine. I head back out and the whole thing’s erupted into flames. I had to put on a second pair of sunglasses just to look at it!
Stryker: Second pair of sunglasses: Pimpin’.
Johnny Cage: Seriously, what the **** is up with you and that word!? I’m telling a tragic tale of me being an arson victim and you’re calling everything I mention a ****ing pimp!
Stryker: Calm the pimp down son. I’m playing this seriously pimp 30 day challenge thing. I have to use a single pimpin’ word, or variations of it in every sentence I use that day. The next day the word switches to a different pimpin’ word. I’m on the 27th pimpin’ day. Don’t want to pimp up now/
Johnny Cage: I’ll pretend that makes sense and continue my story. Anyway, my parents had specifically told me they didn’t insure it because “those insurance people are nothing but two-bit thieves who take your money and don’t return it when some jackass rear-ends your Ferarri.” They weren’t too happy when I told them the car spontaneously burst into flame in a parking lot.
Stryker: That’s not very pimp.
Jax: Well that’s not the most believable story. When was the last time someone set fire to a Ferrari around here?
Johnny Cage: When was the last time you saw a Ferrari around here?
Jax: … Touche.
Johnny Cage: Anyway, it turns out a Ferrari Enzo costs about 450 grand, so my movie contract is now worth 50,000 bucks instead of the original 500,000.
Jax: Damn, that does suck.
Stryker: Those pimps were pretty harsh on you.
Johnny Cage: I’ll say.
At the end of the table Skarlet is debating on whether or not she should speak her mind. She’s not really used to talking to people, and shes not sure if they even want her to talk. Jax invited her, said that if she wanted to meet new people she could tag along, but she wasn’t sure. But... This Johnny person was getting mad at his parents over something fair, not even realizing that he had something very few people in the school had. Taking a few moments to collect herself, she made up her mind.
Skarlet, very quietly: At least you have parents.
Jax: What was that Skarlet?
Skarlet: I said at least you have parents Johnny. None of us have parents.
Johnny Cage: I know, and I know I should be more grateful... but they’re charging me 450,000 bucks for something that isn’t even my fault.
Jax, speaking thoughtfully: Actually, Skarlet is completely right. You have something none of us have. Something all of us would love to have, yet you’re complaining. Think about it this way. You’re still making 50 grand. That’s a helluva lot more than any of us are making.
Johnny Cage: Y’know, you’re right. What the hell am I complaining about. I’m probably making as more than Coach Goro and I’ve got parents. I’m probably the luckiest person around right now. Thanks Skarlet.
Skarlet, shocked that someone is actually talking to her: Oh... I- er... Thank you?
Johnny Cage: Heh, you’re not too bad. ‘Bout time someone smart joined our little group.
Sonya, indignantly: Hey!
Skarlet: M-me? You’re group?
Johnny Cage: Yeah, me, Jax, Sonya, and Stryker. You said you wanted to make some friends, right?
Skarlet: I uh... How do I join?
Johnny Cage: You’re here aren’t you? I say you’re already in. What about you guys?
Jax: I have no problems with that.
Sonya: As long as you don’t insult my intelligence again.
Stryker: Pimpin’.
Johnny Cage, rolling his eyes at Stryker and waving his arms in exaggerated motions: Well then... By the powers invested in me by the mighty elder gods, I decree Skarlet the newest member in the awesome group of awesomeness!
Skarlet: I- I- Thank you! Without thinking, she jumps out of her chair, throwing a big hug around the still standing Johnny Cage.
Johnny Cage: I- You’re welcome?
/\\//\
\//\\/
2:47 PM
Kung Lao is in the room he shares with Liu Kang, completely immersed in the game currently running on his Xbox 360. He’s still in this state when Liu Kang walks into the room
Liu Kang: Is this what you’ve been doing all weekend? Nobody’s seen you at all.
Kung Lao: I’m playing this new game I bought.
Liu Kang: You bought a new game?
Kung Lao: Yep.
Liu Kang: Here let me grab a controller. I’ll join in.
Kung Lao: Oh, sorry. This game is only single player.
Liu Kang just stands there, in awe of the revelation Kung Lao has just revealed.
Liu Kang: You- You’re playing a- a single player game?
Kung Lao: Yeah, why?
Liu Kang: You said you hated anything that you couldn’t play versus in.
Kung Lao: I made this bet with Ermac. If the coin was heads, I’d play their favourite single player game. If it was tails, they would play my favourite MP game. I’ve never been so happy to lose. He made me play this game called Mass Effect, right? And I started up, intending to play until he left, then go back to Halo. Then the game started.
Liu Kang: Seriously? The game started and you fell in love with it?
Kung Lao: Well first it let me make my guy look just like me. Seriously, replace Lao with Shepard and I’m now a galactic hero. Then, as if that wasn’t awesome enough, I could choose my class. Sure, you could be a boring old soldier like in CoD or Halo, but I discovered the Vanguard. It gives you a shotgun and biotics.
Liu Kang: Biotics?
Kung Lao: It’s like I’m ****ing Ermac with a shotgun. I can lift stuff in the air telikinetically and shoot it with a shotgun, throw guys off cliffs telikineitcally. I’m one with the ****ing force!
Liu Kang: That does sound pretty awesome.
Kung Lao: And then there’s the awesome story, and the awesome characters, the awesome missions, the awesome guns. The whole thing is just awesome. Anyway, I beat the first game about an hour ago after getting the completionist achievement. Took me about 52 hours.
Liu Kang: You’ve been playing this for 52 hours straight!
Kung Lao: 53 hours. I ran out and bought the second game about an hour ago, now shut up. There’s a cutscene.
All is silent for a few seconds, before Kung Lao suddenly blurts out
Kung Lao: Tali!
Liu Kang: What the hell is Tali?
Kung Lao: She’s the most awesome character ever made. Now shut up. I’m talking to her.
Liu Kang: Well, when you’re done let me know. Sounds like I better try it out.
Kung Lao: Sure thing bro. Now let me talk to Tali in peace.