My Mortal Kombat 10 Story.

Critical-Limit said:
Alright Flying Jinko.

My Pros:
1.)Super nice grammar. Felt professionally written
2.)I didnt' sense any staleness in the use of words
3.)had a epic tale feel to it. Nobody felt like the main character.
4.)MK realism approach. I could see MK going in a direction such as this.
5.) delightful read, I was eager at 85% of the time what would happen next.

My Cons:
1.) To be honest man It's sort of set up like a wikipedia page would do if they were summarizing MK10, to let me know the MK10 story so I can look back and make sense (If we were in the future.)
2.) (not sure If I consider this a con as I think it flowed better w/o it because of your style) But not much dialogue
3.) I couldn't feel or relate to the characters in any way, because it had a storyboard feel to it.

Those are my only gripes.

It was a really good read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Those cons I listed are more of a preference for what I like in a story, that your story felt like it was lacking. But you did the rest of it so well done. It made up for it IMO.

Perhaps one day we could co-author a story :D
I think with our powers combined in the right way, A broken story of epic proportions could take place.
I think we cover eachothers weaknesses if we were a team. The things I got problems with you don't, and I think I can handle using words people can relate to make the audience FEEL for the characters.
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Thanks a lot for taking your time and giving me feedback, CL. I really appreciate it.:)

As for the cons, I totally agree with all of it.

1. Now that you mentioned it, the story sure does feel like a wikipedia summary :laugh:.But the main reason I went by that approach is to ensure that the story doesn't seem out of the blue for people new to MK. I also wanted everything to make sense through a logical sequence of events so that readers can actually visualize everything in their mind since it is very understandable and relatable to MK. I also wanted to ensure that everything prior to the story states as canon as possible (however I did make a huge plotline error which I realised later, extra bonus for anyone who can tell me what it is :p) Another reason is that I did hours and hours of reading MK wiki, character bios and stuff at mksecrets.com etc while simultaneously writing this story, so it could have heavily influenced my writing. :laugh:
But jokes aside, no excuses for me here. This is something I definitely will look into and improve in my writing.

2.Yes this tale is devoid of any dialogues as it would not fit the style, as you correctly percieved. Sometimes I feel that the lack of dialogue allows the readers to imagine how they characters would speak to each other in the way they like due to which they may appreciate it more. But another reason is that Im extremly terrible at dialogue contruction lol. Definitely something Ive been trying to improve on.:)

3. Yea, I agree that we couldnt use relate to the characters much due to the lack of using words and descriptions that make you feel for them. I basically just used the existing character premise and thought it would be sufficient. Definitely something I will work on since I believe that a story that makes your emotions tingle, is a story that will make readers, appreciate and love your story. :)

We should surely to a co op writing project sometime mate, it would be awesome. :)

back said:
One of the biggest reasons I liked this story was the little to no dialogue.


I still love this shit after all this time :love:
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Thanks alot again bro!. This story would not have come to frutition if it wasn't for story lovers on this site such as you, Aldo, VFD, Armon and many others. :)
 
I never told you this but ever since you posted this, I been reading this shit over and over again.


The True Hero is my favorite part<3.
 
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Aldo Moreno said:
I never told you this but ever since you posted this, I been reading this shit over and over again.


The True Hero is my favorite part<3.
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Thats great bro! Glad you like it :). When I started writing this I always used to keep thinking to myself 'Aldo should like my take on Liu Kang, he should not be dissapointed.' So that True hero part was actually dedicated to you. :)

Would you have liked it any other way, bro? :)
 
Aldo Moreno said:
I never told you this but ever since you posted this, I been reading this shit over and over again.


The True Hero is my favorite part<3.
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I conceive…” whimpered Shinnok. Shinnok’s own coughs of blood were all that was heard as Liu Kang thrust his fiery fist of justice through the skull of The Fallen Elder."

<3 back. :D
 
I don't know what is with this story. I too feel inclined to re-read the entire tale regularly without getting bored, even though I wrote it myself :p.
 
Just wanted to say great job on this, Flying Jinko.
I really hope Ed and the guys go this way for the MK10 story.
 
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This morning I got a PM from Flying Jinko to read this story.
I had gotten no sleep because I had skyped with Tyler Welby until 5 am :laugh:
So after the PM, I vigorously read this first 5 paragraphs before I literally passed out asleep.
I woke up at 2 pm, and had to run errands most of the day (go get my final paycheck, go to the gym..) but reading this story had been on my mind all day. I got distracted by checking threads like Just talk and shit, but I wasn't going to let myself fall asleep before I read this whole thing tonight.

What can I say about this story that hasn't been said yet?
Let me start off by saying this is THE BEST GODDAMN THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.
I even believe in God, read the bible a few times, and it's not as good as this!
I got to see everything as it happened, you didn't leave one leaf unturned.
A brilliant finale, robust sense of direction story wise, and great choice of words.
Dialogue for this story? Not needed, the plot outshined any conversations that would or could have happened in this.
Every person's role was equally important and a vivid detail was shown in everyone.. hell, the only thing that wasn't added was what they ate for breakfast that morning :laugh:
Dude, I can not begin to express my gratitude for you sending me this link for your story.
You clearly have a passion for Mortal Kombat that only I thought I had, and an even greater passion for writing than anyone I have even heard of. I hope you take your talents to the next level and write scripts for a living, because anything else would be a waste of your god given talent to inspire and captivate an audience like you did and do. Hats off to you man, this story made my night. Best writer on TRMK is Flying Jinko, without a doubt. You have earned yourself a never ending sense of respect from me, and now I'm afraid to write anymore fan fiction because it will pale in comparison to yours :afraid: But I can only try, seeing this really makes me want to start on the new book in my story, but fhuck me, I'm not going to bring my story here.. this is your thread. Don't even really feel like I'm worthy enough to post in here, quite frankly. But thanks again man, it was beyond a pleasure reading this.
 
TaBB3rnackle92 said:
This morning I got a PM from Flying Jinko to read this story.
I had gotten no sleep because I had skyped with Tyler Welby until 5 am :laugh:
So after the PM, I vigorously read this first 5 paragraphs before I literally passed out asleep.
I woke up at 2 pm, and had to run errands most of the day (go get my final paycheck, go to the gym..) but reading this story had been on my mind all day. I got distracted by checking threads like Just talk and shit, but I wasn't going to let myself fall asleep before I read this whole thing tonight.

What can I say about this story that hasn't been said yet?
Let me start off by saying this is THE BEST GODDAMN THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.
I even believe in God, read the bible a few times, and it's not as good as this!
I got to see everything as it happened, you didn't leave one leaf unturned.
A brilliant finale, robust sense of direction story wise, and great choice of words.
Dialogue for this story? Not needed, the plot outshined any conversations that would or could have happened in this.
Every person's role was equally important and a vivid detail was shown in everyone.. hell, the only thing that wasn't added was what they ate for breakfast that morning :laugh:
Dude, I can not begin to express my gratitude for you sending me this link for your story.
You clearly have a passion for Mortal Kombat that only I thought I had, and an even greater passion for writing than anyone I have even heard of. I hope you take your talents to the next level and write scripts for a living, because anything else would be a waste of your god given talent to inspire and captivate an audience like you did and do. Hats off to you man, this story made my night. Best writer on TRMK is Flying Jinko, without a doubt. You have earned yourself a never ending sense of respect from me, and now I'm afraid to write anymore fan fiction because it will pale in comparison to yours :afraid: But I can only try, seeing this really makes me want to start on the new book in my story, but fhuck me, I'm not going to bring my story here.. this is your thread. Don't even really feel like I'm worthy enough to post in here, quite frankly. But thanks again man, it was beyond a pleasure reading this.
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Oh man....TaBB.....I usually don't use memes but for this time once

Spoiler:
i-came-spiderman.jpg


Seriously man, reading your compliments made my day and surely my entire week as well. Words can't describe the feeling Im having now and I finally feel a much higher sense of accomplishment. Really I would not have started brainstorming and writing if it wasn't for the enthusiasm of some story lovers on this site such a BBBLP, Aldo, VFD and so many others including you my friend, so our wonderful TRMK community is partly to thank. My greatest satisfaction on writing this however was that I inspired a few people on TRMK to write and make wonderful stories. (although I myself was very new to fanfiction then and this was my first ever writing venture :laugh:). And the finale and final battle was fully BBBLP's idea. He had mentioned it in a story discussion thread, I just imprrovised and extended on it a little. That slut (lol BBBLP, I passed your test :laugh:) comes up with the most epic and insane ideas ever :cool:.

And man, you should really work on your second book when you got time, you are one astounding writer and always keep that passion high. There were almost a 100 times I kept thinking to stop writing and scrap the entire thing whenever I reached a dead end and ran out of ideas but luckily I kept what I had written, saved and came back to it later which I would not have done if it wasn't for my passion and love for MK. So always keep your passion high mate, even if you run out of ideas, give it a break and you will automatically come back much better than before. Passion is the secret to everything and writing this story made me realise that.Thank you once again my friend! :)
 
Thanks Flying J, and your totally welcome.
I'll try to continue writing when I can, I just hope the whole forum reads this story at point or another.
 
yeah, I myself have a bad habit of not wanting to read other's fanfictions unless it is extremely in the direction of my tastes.

But I read this because FJ asked for critique, and I was glad to critique it as it wasn't lacking much. I read all the way through in one sitting, Good stuff.
 
Thinking about it now, sadly I don't think it would be possible (or perhaps very difficult ) to intergrate this story into the story mode of the next game. Especially if the current character chapter format is followed.

However following the MKD's konquest mode for the story mode may hold the answer. Instead to moving around through the various realms/places with just one character perhaps we get to switch between many characters to progress through the story. Still Im not entirely satisfied with this approach as well. Any of you guys got any ideas? :)
 
I don't know about that one FJ.

Having all of the characters from the start of storymode will have people use only one character throughout storymode. Althouh, maybe a lot of good guy Tag matches would be cool througjtout Storymode.
 
YungQ94 said:
I don't know about that one FJ.

Having all of the characters from the start of storymode will have people use only one character throughout storymode. Althouh, maybe a lot of good guy Tag matches would be cool througjtout Storymode.
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Yea , a tag mode sounds quite good, I was however thinking that if there are a bunch of non playable generic grunts like in some of the challenges in the challenge tower only for the story mode, a majority of problems would be solved. For example the first few chapters could be like

(cutscene: a cinematic intro which shows how and why Shinnok defected, his encounter with Raiden and his banishment to the Netherealm. Then the scene switches to his torture there by lucifer, the arrival of Quan Chi and how he overthrew Lucifer and became the ruler of the netherealm

A slight pause and we are back to where MK9 ended, Raiden speaks with Sonya and Cage, assigning them their duties. Sonya goes on her way to track down the black dragon clan members and the following fights ensue)

Chapter 1 - Sonya

Sonya vs 2 black dragon members
Sonya vs Kano
Sonya vs Mavado
Sonya vs Kenshi


Chapter 2 - Kenshi


(Cutscene: Sonya initially mistakened Kenshi for a black dragon member, but after their encounter, she sees Kenshi as an ally. Kenshi is then recruited into the special forces and he goes on his way to do his duties)

Kenshi vs 3 black dragon members
Kenshi vs 3 red dragon members

(cutscene: Kenshi travels to outworld, pursuing Kano but comes across Ermac being subdued by the shadow priests.)

Kenshi vs 2 Shadow priests

(cutscene: although Kenshi helped free Ermac, due to the turmoil inside Ermac, he turns hostile and attacks Kenshi)

Kenshi vs Ermac

Chapter 3 - Johnny Cage

(cutscene: Raiden instructs Johnny Cage towards the White Lotus Society HQ. On his way he battles the black and red dragon members)

Johnny vs 4 black dragon members
Johnny vs 4 red dragon members

(cutscene: after the battle Johnny loses control of his powers and destroys everything around him. It comes to Raiden's attention and he contacts Bo Rai Cho for his help and ask both of them to travel to Seido. There Bo Rai Cho trains him and utilzez Seidan guardsmen for training purposes)

Johnny vs Bo Rai Cho
Johnny vs 3 Seido guardsmen

Chapter 4 - Kai

(cutscene: Kai is travelling through the cold himalayan mountains. There he gets ambushed by Lin Kuei assasins who have a camp nearby. He then later confronts cyber ninjas. He later retreats to a cave where he is found by Raiden. Raiden explains to him all the events and tests him in a fight to see if he is in fact strong enough to be worthy of being with the forces of light. They travel to the Nexus after that searching for Shujinko and shujinko emerges from the Netherealm portal along with a few brotherhood of the shadow. Kai engages them)

Kai vs 4 Lin Kuei assasins
Kai vs 3 cyber Ninjas
Kai vs Raiden (training)
Kai vs 5 brotherhood of the shadow

Chapter 5 -Shujinko

(cutscene: a brief history of Shujinko's travels so far is shown and he is asked to stay in the netherealm by Damashi, so that his soul can be corrupt enough once again for the purposes of the quest. There he encounters Ashrah and trains with her. He is then detected by Quan Chi who sends Oni and Brotherhood after him. He emerges from the portal at nexus and engages them and them confronts Noob Saibot as well)

Shujinko vs Ashrah (training)
Shujinko vs 6 netherealm oni
Shujinko vs 5 brotherhood of the shadow
Shujinko vs Noob Saibot
 
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Chapter 6 - Ermac

Ermac (in appearance of Jerrod) vs 10 other Ermacs
Ermac vs Shadow Priests
Ermac vs Kenshi (training)
Ermac vs Ashrah

Chapter 7 - Sheeva

Sheeva vs Kintaro (training)
Sheeva vs Goro (training)
Sheeva vs 2 random centaurs
Sheeva vs Reiko

Chapter 8 - Ashrah

Ashrah vs 8 Netherrealm Oni
Ashrah vs Moloch and Drahmin
Ashrah vs 10 Brotherhood of The Shadow
Ashrah vs Noob Saibot and Quan Chi
 
Ohhh I got you. Interesting concept. It adds in variety and makes it fun to play. You might be getting at something here :-D
 
Those are some rad match ups VFD! I shall update all of it at the end of the story thread soon. I have also added cutscenes in between, describing how scenes could be like and also added numbers to the grunt based on VFD's format. And thanks Yung! You and anyone are welcome to provide any ideas, suggestions, match ups etc. I shall gladly take them into consideration and we can work on this together. :)
 
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