Prank War Monday
*Kung Lao and Liu Kang sitting at the breakfast table at 6:25 a.m. eating some waffles*
Kung Lao: *Yawns* How in the hell do you do this?
Liu Kang: Eating waffles?
Kung Lao: No getting up at the crack of down every morning.
Liu Kang: Oh that. Well you know how we had to go to military school for burning down that forest.
Kung Lao: Oh yeah. Haha good job by the way.
Liu Kang: Whatever you jackass. *Smirks* You were the one who poured the gasoline. Anyway my body adjusted to the time we had to wake up. Which was the crack of down.
Kung Lao: Ah. *Bites into waffle* I meant to congratulate you on flirting with Li Mei *Grins*
Liu Kang: I didn’t flirt with her. I just taught her how to get a strike.
Kung Lao: A strike for bowling and a strike for Kitana. *Grins again*
Liu Kang: What are you- *Realizing that his up-close and personal lesson did look like flirting* OH F*CK! *Puts his hands on his head* Did I seriously do that in front of Kitana!?
Kung Lao: Yeah you did. When you did that I thought you was doing it to piss her off, you ballsy bastard.
Liu Kang: I’m so stupid. *Sighs* Well it’s not like I’m with her, so it’s whatever. *Looks at the clock. It reads 6:39 a.m.* Damn it’s early.
Kung Lao: Yeah. Wanna try to finish Gears of War 3?
Liu Kang: There are several answers to that question I shall choose only one: Why the f*ck not.
*Later at 7:25 on the way to school with our favorite elements fire and ice*
Scorpion: *Yawns* Ah damn so sleepy.
Sub-Zero: Well maybe if you get off the phone with your lil princess till one o clock in the morning it might help you catch some Z’s.
Scorpion: Totally worth it.
Sub-Zero: Whatever. Hey it’s the Shaolin Monks.
*Liu Kang and Kung Lao crying*
Scorpion: Ah man did you run out of rice?
Kung Lao: No you buttf*ck. *Sniffs* We we’re playing Gears of War 3 and… and…
Liu Kang: *Drops to his knees* DAMN YOU GAME DEVELOPERS!! BRING DOM BACK YOU BASTARDS!!!
*Let’s skip English and go straight to gym class where we see Smoke and Noob*
Noob: So you wanted to apologize?
Smoke: Yeah man I just wanted to say sorry for being so distant from you.
Noob: Finally! Ah man I’m so glad you finally said sorry.
Smoke: Yeah man I messed up. *Holds up fist* Bros?
Noob: *Pounds it* Bros. *Starts to walk away*
Smoke: Oh yeah one more thing.
Noob: What’s that?
*Smoke throws a smoke bomb at Noob’s feet and makes Noob disappears*
**Noob lands on a bench**
Noob: Ow! That son of a b*tch! *Feels a finger tap his shoulder* What!?
Jade: *Cracking knuckles* Wanna tell us why you had the balls to teleport on us girls changing?
Noob: *Realizes he is in the girls locker room. You know since there’s a bunch of half naked females in there.* … I would like my funeral to be a open casket so people can remember my face.
Li Mei: Who said we we’re going to leave a body?
Noob: 0-0!
*On the outside of the door we see Smoke checking his nails like a badass*
Noob: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I FEEL EVERYTHING!!!
*Two minutes of straight ass whooping pass by*
**Noob slowly crawling out the girls locker room**
Noob: You… dick!
Smoke: Payback is a b*tch Noob, learn how to treat her right.
Noob: *Uses the wall to slowly stand up* It’s war you slut.
Smoke: Bring it b*tch. *Smirks* Don’t let the door hit your ass, and by ass I mean your face.
Noob: That makes no sense! *Door swings open and hits Noob in the face. Noob covers up face and falls to the floor* F*ck my beautiful shadowy face!
Smoke: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! *Walks away and class starts*
*Lunch- Sloppy Joe Mondays baby (WOOOO!)*
Sonya: I’m still trying to figure out how that freak got into the girls locker room.
Jade: Probably teleported. Nasty f*ck.
Kitana: Whoa. Might wanna watch your language cause your hubby is coming to lunch with you *winks*
*They all turn to see Smoke whistling a tune holding his tray and strolling to their table. Suddenly, a bucket of fish comes out of nowhere and hits Smoke in the face. The whole cafeteria stops and looks at Smoke*
Smoke: *Takes off bucket and throws it somewhere* Noob what the f*ck!?
Noob: *Standing at the back of the cafeteria near a door* No the question is why not?
Smoke: So is this your prank? Some lil fish to make me stink all day? F*cking lame, like you.
Noob: *Smirks* I thought to until I found *Opens up the door to reveal a huge black grizzly bear in a cage just going crazy* this.
Smoke: How the f*ck?
Noob: Teleportation is the best power ever Smoke. *Holds up a fish* I found out something Smoke. Grizzles love fish. *Throws fish at Smoke and Smoke catches it* They also like fresh meat. *Starts taking the lock off the cage*
Smoke: You wouldn’t.
Noob: You should know by know that I will.
Smoke: I just want to say one thing before I run for my life. *Pause* You’re a b*tch and so is your first born.
Noob: Far enough. *Unlocks the cage and the black bear busts out of its cage running straight for the fish soaked Smoke*
Smoke: F*ck. *Starts getting the f*ck of there. Gets into the hallway and steps outside onto the field. Mind you the whole cafeteria is burst out with laughter. Well except Jade; She’s f*cking pissed. Anyway Smoke is now outside with the bear still in pursuit*
Smoke: NOOB THIS ISN”T FUNNY! *Quickly gaining up on Smoke, the bear tackles him. Everybody got on the ‘Oh shit’ face. Slowly the bear is inches from Smoke’s face when the bear starts to lick him*
Noob: *From the cafeteria window* BWAHAHAHA!! Oh man that was hilarious.
Smoke: *Pushes the bear of him* Hilarious!? I could’ve f*cking died!!
Noob: Don’t get your thong twisted. The bear was never interested in the fish.
Smoke: *Sighs* Whatever.
Noob: Though it does wanna mate with you.
Smoke: 0-0! *The bear keeps licking his face while standing up*
Noob: That’s bear for, “You got a purdy mouth.” HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
*Lunch Bell rings*
Smoke: That ass is mine Noob. *Walks away with bear in tow*
*Near the end of Math Class and surprisingly Mr. Chi gave the class the time to chill*
Jade: I will never forgive you.
Noob: Like I want your forgiveness.
Jde: Why can’t you guys talk this out like normal people.
Noob: Because I have to teach him a lesson that if he wants to be selfish then so can I.
Jade: Is this all because of me isn’t it?
Noob: … No.
Jade: Bul*shit. For some reason your either jealous that Smoke is with me or the fact that you don’t like being a third wheel.
Noob: … If I needed your opinion I’d probably have to give a shit. Which I can’t give right now.
*Jade shakes her head and walks away*
**The intercom cuts on**
Smoke: *Clears throat* Attention all students please listen for the afternoon announcements.
Mr. Chi: What the? When did we have announcements.
Smoke: Today we shall be reading from a certain junior’s diary. The student to graciously present his diary today is none other than Noob Saibot.
Noob: Oh shit.
Smoke: Here we go. *Clears throat* Dear Journal, yesterday in math class I could totally see Frost’s nipples poking through her shirt. Tell you the truth journal I suck those ice cubes dry.
*Burst of laughter throughout the school*
Smoke: Dear Journal, you know what would be badass? Me on a naked beach with all the girls at this school. They be tanning topless and I be all like, “Whoops I feel on your ass on accident!”
*Another burst of laughter*
Smoke: Final one. Dear Journal, is it wrong to think that if I can produce a female clone that I f*ck it every single day?
*The whole school bursts out uncontrollable laughter*
Smoke: Thank you and have a wonderful day.
*While everybody is laughing, Noob walks out the classroom pissed*