Here's another one right out the oven!! Enjoy!!
Chapter 6: Jax
(Cutscene)
Raiden: Damn, the amulet is still damaged. He must win... Why in the hell can't my future self be more damn specific.
Jax: Maybe it was the spur of the moment. I mean come on a hammer was coming down on your head. You was probably busy shitting yourself.
Raiden: Oh look, its Shang Tsung here to pay me my 20 bucks.
Jax: Wait I thought he was old as dinosaur dust.
Raiden: It seems like Shao Khan rewarded you. How much ass did you have to kiss to stay alive?
Shang Tsung: Haha very funny Sombreo King. When can I get my taco special for a 50% discount?
Raiden: ...... State your business.
Shang Tsung: A new tournament. Wanna take part in it?
Raiden: Now why in the hell would I do that?
Shang Tsung: Oh I was hoping you say that. See it takes place in Outworld. If Earthrealm chooses not to show or lose then Outworld will consume Earthrealm. However if Earthrealm does show and by chance does win the tournament, then Shao Khan will leave Earthrealm alone. Forever.
Raiden: Send your master my regards. And by regards I really mean tell him to suck it.
Shang Tsung: Hm. OOPS!! My portal that contain an army of Tarkans suddenly opened up.
*Portal opens*
Raiden: You little shit!
*They start fighting*
**Jax jumps down and closelines some dude**
***Headbutts another one***
****They just wanted to know where the bathroom was****
*****Jax gets a 3 hit kombo landed on him*****
(Jax wakes up after getting jumped)
Raiden: Quick hand me another sharpi--. Oh shit he's waking up!! Shh! Shh!
Johnny Cage: You ok?
Jax: I just got my face stomped in and your asking me if I'm ok? *grunts* Wait, where's Sonya?
Raiden: Crazy thing actually. We kinda let Shang Tsung take her...
Jax: WHAT THE ****?!?!?
Raiden: Oh calm down. We can't go all Call of Duty on there asses. We must attend that tournamrnt.
*Sees vision of Liu Kang*
Kung Lao: Another vision?
Raiden: Yeah and Liu Kang won this tournament with the defeat of Shao Khan.
Johnny Cage: So no problem because we already won right?
Raiden: Your shitting me right? Weren't you listening at the party when I told all of you that my amulet was damged because Liu Kang won the last tournament?
Everybody: Nope.
Raiden: Oh my Elder Gods. Anyway I think somebody else should win this tournament so Liu Kang, Chill.
Liu Kang: No problem.
Raiden: Elder Gods, I accept the tournament.
Elder Gods: Do you accept the Terms and Agreements to the Tournament?
Raiden: Um, no shit?
*Light shines*
Raiden: Let's bounce!
(First Match)
*Goro hands Yin Yang symbol to Shao Khan*
Shao Khan: So yeah why the **** did you give me this?
Goro: *shrugs*
*Goro leaves*
Jax: That's Shao Khan right?
Johnny Cage: You mean the guy in the speedo and cow skull? Haha I need to hook him up with my cousin in California or something. By the way, where in the hell is the Wonder Twins?
Raiden: Freeing they're Shaolin teachers and friends. I thought Sonya would be at Shang Tsung's feet sevring him food with a skimpy outfit on.
Jax and Johnny: ............?
Raiden: I have a bunch of time to myself.
Jax: That was disturbing. Whatever she better not be hurt.
Raiden: Wait no!
Shang Tsung: Oh cool, right on time.
Shao Khan: Tournament shall begin as of now!
Shang Tsung: Jackson Briggs vs. Baraka!
*Tarkans cheer*
Jax: Damn you ugly.
Johnny Cage: Get Em!
Jax: You so ugly your mirror committed suicide!
Johnny Cage: Get Em!
Jax: When us humans have Shark Week, sharks have Baraka Week!
Johnny Cage: Get Em!
Jax: Your teeth look like you chew on a block of wood for breakfast!!
Shao Khan: Damn.
Baraka: *Baraka sheds one tear* My blades will...(Almost cries) find your heart!
(Cutscene)
Jax: Quit playing and tell me where Sonya is!
Shang Tsung: Do you guys do anything othe than save one another. You know play Twister, go out to eat, play strip poker?
Jax: No!
Shang Tsung: Your loss. Your next match will be--
*Reptile whisper's in Shang Tsung's ear*
**Probably needs to use the bathroom**
Shang Tsung: Oh nice

. It seems like we must stop the fighting to attend to a pressing matter. We will continue if that is alright with my master.
Shao Khan: Yeah why not.
Shang Tsung: Ok.
*After eveyone leaves*
Jax: Something doesn't add up.
*Raiden sees vision*
Raiden: Sonya... there planning to execute her.
Jax: What the shit?!?!?! They better brace themselves for an ass kicking!!
Raiden: Calm down Black Dynamite. Since my powers are dumbed down in Outworld I'll teleport us near Sonya.
(Second Match) ((Damn Cutscenes))
Johnny Cage: Hm. Lost as usual.
Jax: Where are we?
Raiden: Damn give a thunder god a second to rest shit!
Johnny Cage: Oh this reminds me of my movie 'Time Smashers' where we--
Jax: Oh that's nice. Hey can you help me count how many ****s I don't give.
*Silence*
Johnny Cage: So I notice your not going out with Sonya right?
Jax: Nope. I'm her C.O.
Johnny Cage: Lucky. If I was her C.O. I make her do jumping jacks for 5 minutes, record it, and watch it slow motion :-D.
Jax: Shut up please!
MK Announcer: Test Your Luck.
Johnny Cage: So you wouldn't mind if I--
Jax: Ok that's it! Its time you feel what my foot feels like up your ass!!
(Third Match)
Raiden: Calm down Jax.
Jax: But he--
Raiden: Shh! There's a distrubance in the forest.
Jade: Excuse but the Armory is off limits so please get the hell out.
Jax: Sorry but your requst has been denied!
(Cutscene)
Johnny Cage: Great job Chris Brown now what?
Jax: ..... Sorry lady. And sorry Johnny I--
Johnny Cage: Naw it's cool bro.
Raiden: Now that we know where we are and where to go, are you divas ready to go?
Jonny Cage and Jax: Whatever.
(Fourth Match)
*Trolls gambling*
**That actually put a smile on my face**
Sonya: What are they gambling for?
Sheeva: To see who rapes you first.
Sonya: 0-0.....
Johnny Cage: Sonya!
Sonya: Oh thank God!!
Sheeva: Kill them!
*Jax takes care of the first guard*
**Why in the hell do they work near and acid pit**
***I wonder how many on-the-job accidents they have per year***
Sheeva: She is the emperor's property.
Jax: Since were discussing property, I now own your ass!
(Cutscene)
Sonya: How what a player.
Jax: You haven't seen me at the top of my game

.
Sonya: Haha. What took so long?
Johnny Cage: Busy beating me up.
*Sonya's beeper thing goes off*
Sonya: Hm. Two heavy tech signals are coming from my transmitter.
Raiden: That's odd. There's no technology in Outworld. It's like Earthrealm's third world countries combined. (No offense)
Johnny Cage: What about us? What are we used condoms to you?
Raiden: Hm. Actually why don't you stick with me.
Johnny Cage: Great I--
Raiden: Except this is like a prison relationship so your my *****. >:}
Johnny Cage: Help.
Jax: Well I'm sticking with Sonya. You guys want to teleport about 30 klicks this way.
Raiden: Ok, let's go *****.