Resident Evil: The Last Sample by iVital

.... Leave me alone, it's my fantasy <_<

Spoiler:
bsaa_jill_valentine_by_lordhayabusa357-d52ego5.jpg
Dat ass.. :yumyum:

 
Tier list for asses, lmao I love this place.

Chapter 5 was very good and I already gave my opinion on like page 6
 
You have got to be kidding me Shira :rofl:

You want criticism!? This chapter was a well written chapter cause it pulled out the smart stuff!! The smart words, the eerie tone and mood, I actually gave a damn about the Side event too!!

That's your damn criticism!?!?!?!?!
 
The smart stuff?! LOL.

Thanks man, Thesaurus.com was my best friend while writing that chapter and I learned a shit ton of words at the same time! :proud:

Critical is lurking, he might as well read chapter 4 and give me some input..

@Metal, Shhhh..
 
I've read the first chapter so far, not bad.

Gonna say, though, if there is any shit about Jill and Chris/Chris and any other female making out or anything, tell me now so I don't read on, find out and ban people.
 
iViTal said:
Chapter 4: Separate ways

Jill cracks open her door prepping herself to jump out. Just before the mustang pile drived through the horde of zombies Ada jumps out the car, Jill did the same thing. The car pummeled through zombies, Limbs and body parts flew everywhere. Ada Pulls out her Black tail hand gun and shoots the gas tank of the car, the car busted into flames followed by a huge explosion opening the factory entrance and leaving them a clear path to run inside.

C'mon we don't have much time. Ada said to Jill

They sprinted to the entrance of the factory, once inside the Emergency Security System kicked in.

"E.S.S Initiated, Emergency lock down in progress" Said the computerized woman over the intercom.

The main exit and entrances of the building were closed.

"This place.... So familiar" Jill said to herself.

It was a exact replica of the Umbrella factory in Raccoon city, but she called it the "Dead factory".

Jill has a flash back..

FLASH BACK TIME!

"It was a cold summer night in Raccoon city, The smell...That horrible smell they emitted tainted the air. It came from the dead bodies in the Dead factory. After a while you got used to it. But the monster smelled the worst out of the all. " Jill began her story telling, while tears ran down her face.

"I remember being on a bridge.. The monster was infront of me, it was either push him off or jump off. I decided to push him off and run into the Dead factory, A place that I thought was safe. Once inside these bug creatures that I encountered downtown roamed inside, thank God there was only a few of them and I was stocked up on handgun ammo. Next I had to find a Umbrella key card to get on the roof for extraction. Then the monster found a way inside, I killed him.. well I thought I did, and headed to the elevator.

He transformed into this thing.. I can't explain it. I managed to used the proton cannon to destroy him.. Even through all the hell he put me through I felt sorry for him. So I didn't finish him off and ran to the Helicopter.

Carlos and I managed to escape, we're 2 out of the 4 who survived."

Ada wipes Jill's tears off her face.

"Hey, Don't worry nothing like that will happen again. It's probably best if we split up to cover more of the factory" Ada said to Jill.

Jill agrees and goes her Separate ways (Hehe), She ventures off into the same room were she fought Nemesis in his second form. Everything looked the same, except there were no dead bodies and a Tyrant chasing after her. Jill begins to search the room, in her searching she finds a small vault on the wall. It had the words labeled "Biohazard" and it emitted a dark purple glow. She begins to turn the vaults wheel, within 5 secs of turning it opens up.

"The last sample.." Jill said to herself in amazement, She takes it and places it in the back pouch on her belt.

Jill exits the room and heads back to the entrance of the factory.

"I suppose I should thank you for your assistance in recovering the sample for me Mrs.Valentine." A voice said from the second floor of the main entrance.

"Wesker!" Jill said aloud.

"Correct, but I'm not alone" He said, Ada emerges behind Wesker.

"Hi there" Ada said with a Sly grin on her face...
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I FOUND IT

I ****ING FOUND IT FINALLY

... Now I gotta read Chapter 5 :neutral:

Nice chapter BTW, I like how it ends
 
... Did you have to quote it all? :laugh:

Wait, I'll just go through the thread so I can make a Table of contents in the OP to save people time.
 
To answer your question, Vital, in this particular case, yes sir, I did to have to quote the whole chapter

But at least now you actually have enough sense to put a Table of Contents in the OP

... You already know how I feel about your huge update to Chapter 5 since Claire is in it

However, I do have a couple of small complaints

One of them is this:


iViTal said:
Chapter 5: Unexpected Ally


"Do you seriously think I can trust you?", Wesker said.
Click to expand...
This kinda irked me because it doesn't sound like something Wesker would say

I would have personally made him say something like, "Don't play innocent with me, Ada. After what you did to me, there's simply no reason for me to trust you any longer."

Like I said, small complaint though


iEaTaSS said:
The factory entrance began to close on it's own, Jill looked up at the control panel on the second floor. A young woman with dark red hair with a red biker jacket in skinny blue jeans, close the entrance stopping the infected from pouring in, however a group of 30 remained inside.

"Jill! Hurry, get to the second floor!" The Young woman yelled.

Jill acknowledged her orders and moved quickly, she paused and stared at Ada. She began to think. "Even though she double crossed me, she doesn't deserve to die" Jill thought to herself and she lifted Ada up and took her to the second floor to regroup with the Unidentified red haired woman.

Jill examines the woman, she looks familiar and resembles Chris her long time partner since S.T.A.R.S in Raccoon city. She then questions the Woman to why she's here..

"Wait, Who are you and why are you here?" Jill questioned

"I'm the Terra Save agent who was sent to assist you in your mission but I'm guessing you didn't get the Memo. I searched all over for you then I seen a Helicopter land on top of this building, and I have a feeling it's coming back to pick up Wesker so we have to confront him fast before he gets away with the G-Virus" Claire said to Jill.
Click to expand...
Also, a small plothole here

At first, you label her as "unidentified" only to turn around and reveal her name seconds later when Claire herself didn't even mention her name to Jill when they first meet up

Obviously, RE fans like you, me and Shira can overlook this since we already know that red haired girl= Claire

But it might end up confusing those who don't know much of RE and don't know who Claire is

Just saiyan

Last thing, about Jill having "feelings" for Ada

By feelings, do you mean that she's developing romantic feelings for Ada? Or are her feelings towards Ada just sisterly feelings?

But yeah, this is getting better with each chapter, I like how the action is slowly beginning to unfold

Makes me even more eager to read the next chapters
 
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