Poetry Thread

Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

I honestly don't understand how one can criticize poetry or anything like it. Something so abstract and subjective. It's one of those things that should have no right or wrong, like music. Yes exactly like music. You might think Lil' Wayne is the best, I might hate the guy. Are either of us right? No. It's your preference. If I wanna misspell words in MY poem, that's totally fine. Just think if we were all the same, if everyone thought the same, followed the same little patterns and structures MADE BY OTHER MEN would we even be human anymore? Seems like we'd be more like robots to me!

And I'm sorry Justin but your logic is flawed. I have listened to music, produced it, played it, studied it, loved it, hated it, since birth. Does that give me the qualifications to criticize it? Nope. Will I ever be able to? Nope. Would someone like Beethoven (being he were alive) be able to? Nope. No amount of diplomas, classes, books, etc. can give you the right to criticize something so abstract that can't be set in stone by any amount of "experience"

Just my 2 cents.
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

DCP said:
I honestly don't understand how one can criticize poetry or anything like it. Something so abstract and subjective. It's one of those things that should have no right or wrong, like music. Yes exactly like music. You might think Lil' Wayne is the best, I might hate the guy. Are either of us right? No. It's your preference. If I wanna misspell words in MY poem, that's totally fine. Just think if we were all the same, if everyone thought the same, followed the same little patterns and structures MADE BY OTHER MEN would we even be human anymore? Seems like we'd be more like robots to me!

And I'm sorry Justin but your logic is flawed. I have listened to music, produced it, played it, studied it, loved it, hated it, since birth. Does that give me the qualifications to criticize it? Nope. Will I ever be able to? Nope. Would someone like Beethoven (being he were alive) be able to? Nope. No amount of diplomas, classes, books, etc. can give you the right to criticize something so abstract that can't be set in stone by any amount of "experience"

Just my 2 cents.
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thank you for this. at first i thought i was alone in this battle. so you got JC, aldo has liu-kang, i'll go with smoke, we're like the heroes hahaha.
o and ima add you on psn
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

asddgd said:
thank you for this. at first i thought i was alone in this battle. so you got JC, aldo has liu-kang, i'll go with smoke, we're like the heroes hahaha.
o and ima add you on psn
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No way would you be alone in this haha. I'm all about freedom, and having the least amount of structure and rules possible. The things we do different that many see as "mistakes" is what's great about being human. We all think differently!

Sounds good man. If xDCP is filled up just add xDannyCage. Add me on facebook if you want to. http://www.facebook.com/xDCPx
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

asddgd said:
im actually not looking for a f*cking pat on the back, i'm looking for feedback. its nice to hear peoples opinions but i think it crosses the line when someone tells another person whats wrong with their poem. theres nothing wrong with it. if spelling and grammer is your thing then write your own with everything proper but dont tell someone else that they have to or its not good.

and i'm the president so i must be qualified to run the country
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Allow me to respectfully disagree here. In my honest opinion, there is nothing necessarily wrong with Adlo's poem apart from the lack of spelling. You can tell that he wanted to put a lot of his heart into this and get it out there. However.. It's kind of hard to take that seriously when he's spelling things with a 'k' instead of 'c'. I truly understand why he did (and I'm sure everyone else here does too), but when it's something that you pour your soul into it's out of place. I mean, he was writing this about a girl he LOVED and he was doing the 'k' thing still lol. It was very heartfelt, and that's great. I just think I would have appreciated it more if he was more grammatically correct. But that's just me. There's nothing wrong with improving your grammar, either. I think this will be one of many learning experiences for you, Aldo. Keep writing, and you'll look back at this poem and be impressed at how much you've (hopefully) improved.
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

Viking_Poodle said:
Allow me to respectfully disagree here. In my honest opinion, there is nothing necessarily wrong with Adlo's poem apart from the lack of spelling. You can tell that he wanted to put a lot of his heart into this and get it out there. However.. It's kind of hard to take that seriously when he's spelling things with a 'k' instead of 'c'. I truly understand why he did (and I'm sure everyone else here does too), but when it's something that you pour your soul into it's out of place. I mean, he was writing this about a girl he LOVED and he was doing the 'k' thing still lol. It was very heartfelt, and that's great. I just think I would have appreciated it more if he was more grammatically correct. But that's just me. There's nothing wrong with improving your grammar, either. I think this will be one of many learning experiences for you, Aldo. Keep writing, and you'll look back at this poem and be impressed at how much you've (hopefully) improved.
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What if the chick he loved knew that he replaces all his "C's" with "K's"? I don't know about you guys but when it comes to relationships it's the smallest, stupidest shit that always gets to me when things get bad. For example, my ex and I love Michael Jackson. "Our Song" is "Human Nature' by MJ, she can't sing worth a shit (haha) but whenever I hear the song it reminds me of all the times she use to mess around singing it to me.

Another thing I forgot to mention that I didn't like about Justin's argument was the fact that he kept saying that he needed to appeal to the masses more give or take. I will never understand why. I've always disliked this type of thinking. Again with the Lil' Wayne example, dude is extremely popular, so should everyone try to sound like Wayne since that's what most people like? Justin, you just seem to have a mainstream way of thinking, which isn't bad, but to put down others' ways of thinking is wrong.
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

Viking_Poodle said:
Allow me to respectfully disagree here. In my honest opinion, there is nothing necessarily wrong with Adlo's poem apart from the lack of spelling. You can tell that he wanted to put a lot of his heart into this and get it out there. However.. It's kind of hard to take that seriously when he's spelling things with a 'k' instead of 'c'. I truly understand why he did (and I'm sure everyone else here does too), but when it's something that you pour your soul into it's out of place. I mean, he was writing this about a girl he LOVED and he was doing the 'k' thing still lol. It was very heartfelt, and that's great. I just think I would have appreciated it more if he was more grammatically correct. But that's just me. There's nothing wrong with improving your grammar, either. I think this will be one of many learning experiences for you, Aldo. Keep writing, and you'll look back at this poem and be impressed at how much you've (hopefully) improved.
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are you disagreeing with me? i read your post and (don't take this the wrong way) it confused me a bit. everything you wrote made sense but you said you were disagreeing but when i read it it seemed like you were kinda agreeing or mostly not objecting to what i said. if he wants to do the k thing on a MK forum i'm all for it. maybe its an old poem and he wanted to make it a bit funny. mine was at least like 3 years old. again not trying to fight with you or anything because i agree with most of what your saying, just a little confused about what you were agreeing with
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

DCP said:
Another thing I forgot to mention that I didn't like about Justin's argument was the fact that he kept saying that he needed to appeal to the masses more give or take.
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Good point. If this poem truly was for his girlfriend then there really is no need to appeal to the masses at all. However, I do truly believe that if he aspires to be an author of any sort, he SHOULD work on his grammar. If replacing 'c's with 'k's is his only vice, that's cool. It's his way of spelling certain words. But no one will EVER take him seriously if he always has so many grammatical errors.

asddgd said:
are you disagreeing with me?
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Only the part about spelling and grammar haha. I was agreeing with you when you said that no one should say that it's a "bad" poem. Everyone writes poems in different ways.
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

Viking_Poodle said:
Good point. If this poem truly was for his girlfriend then there really is no need at all to appeal to the masses at all. However, I do truly believe that if he aspires to be an author of any sort, he SHOULD work on his grammar. If replacing 'c's with 'k's is his only vice, that's cool. It's his way of spelling certain words. But no one will EVER take him seriously if he always has so many grammatical errors.
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Can't argue with that, chief!
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

Viking_Poodle said:
Only the part about spelling and grammar haha. I was agreeing with you when you said that no one should say that it's a "bad" poem. Everyone writes poems in different ways.
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hahaha true. but i mean some people can actually misspell things as an art form. maybe thats what the k was for. hahaha i love him for that. i dont think it matters about the spelling and grammar though
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

I love it Aldo. I am amazed by your talent. I am sure this poem will warm the hearts of many ladies in here :love:
 
Fighting over poetry? Seriously, guys?

Let's not and say we did, shall we?

=)

Also, I believe Aldo only replaces his C's with K's in this forum....since it is a Mortal Kombat forum....I doubt he does it in everything else.
 
Re: Poem I wrote.-Aldo Moreno

DCP said:
I honestly don't understand how one can criticize poetry or anything like it. Something so abstract and subjective. It's one of those things that should have no right or wrong, like music. Yes exactly like music. You might think Lil' Wayne is the best, I might hate the guy. Are either of us right? No. It's your preference. If I wanna misspell words in MY poem, that's totally fine. Just think if we were all the same, if everyone thought the same, followed the same little patterns and structures MADE BY OTHER MEN would we even be human anymore? Seems like we'd be more like robots to me!
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Music, writing, movies, and video games can all be criticized. You can judge them from a wide array of things. From influence, to grammar, to creativity. The wrong stance to take is that it insults the person who made what ever work they made. In actuallity, if they
listen, it helps them grow.

And I'm sorry Justin but your logic is flawed. I have listened to music, produced it, played it, studied it, loved it, hated it, since birth. Does that give me the qualifications to criticize it? Nope. Will I ever be able to? Nope. Would someone like Beethoven (being he were alive) be able to? Nope. No amount of diplomas, classes, books, etc. can give you the right to criticize something so abstract that can't be set in stone by any amount of "experience"
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What's funny is that words like art are abstract. Music, writing, movies, and video games usually are not. Sure maybe it happens in painting a lot, but you often don't find it in poetry or music. I actually don't like abstract art. I kind of think it's nonsense. I just don't se what's so great. Example: http://www.mikefilms.com/artgallery/images/abstract_painting_jpg.jpg

What's funny is that I think you're using the word wrong. You're running around stating all music is abstract, but that actually depends.
 
Just gonna ignore what has been argued up to this point.

If this is now a general poetry thread, that admittedly I'm not a person who is big on poetry, but I do really like Rudyard Kipling's "If": http://www.everypoet.com/archive/poetry/Rudyard_Kipling/kipling_if.htm

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
 
Kelsper said:
Just gonna ignore what has been argued up to this point.

If this is now a general poetry thread, that admittedly I'm not a person who is big on poetry, but I do really like Rudyard Kipling's "If": http://www.everypoet.com/archive/poetry/Rudyard_Kipling/kipling_if.htm

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
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I had to memorize that poem for a school program; good times (not really lol). Its a very good poem though.
 
Wow! Speechless. I guess I need to work more on my poems if I wanna be a author and a poet"/. Thanks guys, this makes me wanna work harder in what I wanna do now. Just like running, I need to pratice pratice pratice. I also need to stop using my Ks as well. And DCP, she knows I use Ks. She pointed it out when we 1st started talking/

But yeah thanks you all.

Jade said:
Also, I believe Aldo only replaces his C's with K's in this forum....since it is a Mortal Kombat forum....I doubt he does it in everything else.
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I only do it on Facebook, here, and texting. In the school I don't do that.
 
Its a good poem ill leave it as that my only concern was maybe changing a few words or replacing them mostly the stuff other people mentioned in this thread. Now i'm not an expert in writing or anything but since you did post it here and this is the internet expect some criticism but don't take it in a BAD WAY. Heres just some examples and yes i READ it all.

Aldo Moreno said:
Damnit man I wish you never sent you away.

If you ever take me back, I will not **** up or do anything bad.

I still remeber you kalling you grapes.

You always use to make my happy.

Remember when I as sat on your lap?

I made you do the right thing and not do something shit over something someone said.
We kall her The Great Whore and when people knew I didn't let you fight they would tell me ,"***** that ain't your wed."

I look at it and realized me hope doesnt come true.

EDIT:
D: This is a short as poem"/.
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^ Well these are some things that i noticed that can be corrected some of them i don't know what you were trying to say and the wording was confusing. Anyways like i said it was good i liked it and to be honest with you its the only one that i actually took the time to read, keep writing and you'll get better.
 
A short poem I wrote.

"You make my world much brighter everytime we dance.

Kome with to the the dancefloor;while your at it, give me another chance.

I dance with others but with you I kan feel the romance.

Kome back, you make my world brighter everytime we dance."
 
Aldo Moreno said:
A short poem I wrote.

"You make my world much brighter everytime we dance.

Kome with to the the dancefloor;while your at it, give me another chance.

I dance with others but with you I kan feel the romance.

Kome back, you make my world brighter everytime we dance."
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you like all these lovey-dovey poems eh?
 
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