D3THF15T
Member
I need help with a very serious real world problem and I don't know how to deal with it.
This is a condensed short version of it: I have an aunt who has for as long as I can remember been self centered and for lack of a better word lazy. My grandparents have taken care of her since she was little (she was adopted after being abandoned by my granfathers son from a previous marriage to what he called a worthless B****) they made sure that her needs were met, suitably dressed, well fed, clean, and she went to school. Their efforts however have failed to install her with either guilt or remorse for her selfish actions through out her teenage years she demanded things they could not afford and lied to other about her treatment (claiming abuse and neglect) to gain attention. My grandparents are not wealth but they have worked hard all their lives and built their own home they have fostered many children (my grandmother couldn't have children of her own) as their own they always gave everything they had to care for others.
My aunt despised their strict rules and thought they were crazy about keeping their house spotless. She moved out after she graduated and lived with her 1st husband and that was when I realized she had problems in regards to keeping her house not only clean but livable. She constantly left plates and trash around where ever it was used last the trailer house they lived in actually had grass growing in one room and the bathtub literally was halfway through the floor as I was around 11 when this was happening I didn't think much about it she always had an excuse it was the plumbing or it was that the trailer was too old, maybe but when every other place she lived turned out similar the trend became apparent...
Flash forward to now she is twice divorced and has 2 kids by different men she lives in a house my grandparents own she pays no bills herself she has no job (actually she only had 1 job for maybe a year or two at a nearby hospital as a CNA) my grandmother is now a widow who still works a 40+ hour work week pays her bills for her and supplies her with a car and gas. My aunt has had CPS come called on her 3 times now and my grandparents took care of her children during those times a burden too hard to bare for my grand father god rest his soul. I tried to have an adult conversation with her about an hour ago about why her kid still has head lice and why when the dentist has called repeatedly for months she has yet to schedule a check up for her oldest daughter even though 2 of her capped teeth have lost the metal bit and she deflected and redirected the conversation avoiding responsibility.
So I ask of anyone who may have insights into this sort of situation I need a way to resolve this or at least make some head room the last 3 month have been hard on my grandmother and I don't know how to help she does everything she can to keep those kids around because she doesn't want to see them taken away by CPS and its just enabling her to keep having second chances to waste.
EDIT: I'm sure my grammar is atrocious I apologize for that I'm just too mad to care right now. I forgot to mention another big piece of the problem she also has done meth over the years and sold some of my grandparents stuff and the last run of CPS she was regularly drug tested and had to attend counsling which she has stated "didn't help" and was "stupid". She also has done meth since the last CPS case closed out back in July while my grandfather was in the hospital she claimed she couldn't handle the stress of him being in such bad shape even though it was a direct result of her doing drugs and neglecting her kids in the 1st place. Again she deflects her responsibility for her actions on someone else or and external factor instead of trying to solve her own compulsive behavior to do things she wants to regardless of the ramifications.
This is a condensed short version of it: I have an aunt who has for as long as I can remember been self centered and for lack of a better word lazy. My grandparents have taken care of her since she was little (she was adopted after being abandoned by my granfathers son from a previous marriage to what he called a worthless B****) they made sure that her needs were met, suitably dressed, well fed, clean, and she went to school. Their efforts however have failed to install her with either guilt or remorse for her selfish actions through out her teenage years she demanded things they could not afford and lied to other about her treatment (claiming abuse and neglect) to gain attention. My grandparents are not wealth but they have worked hard all their lives and built their own home they have fostered many children (my grandmother couldn't have children of her own) as their own they always gave everything they had to care for others.
My aunt despised their strict rules and thought they were crazy about keeping their house spotless. She moved out after she graduated and lived with her 1st husband and that was when I realized she had problems in regards to keeping her house not only clean but livable. She constantly left plates and trash around where ever it was used last the trailer house they lived in actually had grass growing in one room and the bathtub literally was halfway through the floor as I was around 11 when this was happening I didn't think much about it she always had an excuse it was the plumbing or it was that the trailer was too old, maybe but when every other place she lived turned out similar the trend became apparent...
Flash forward to now she is twice divorced and has 2 kids by different men she lives in a house my grandparents own she pays no bills herself she has no job (actually she only had 1 job for maybe a year or two at a nearby hospital as a CNA) my grandmother is now a widow who still works a 40+ hour work week pays her bills for her and supplies her with a car and gas. My aunt has had CPS come called on her 3 times now and my grandparents took care of her children during those times a burden too hard to bare for my grand father god rest his soul. I tried to have an adult conversation with her about an hour ago about why her kid still has head lice and why when the dentist has called repeatedly for months she has yet to schedule a check up for her oldest daughter even though 2 of her capped teeth have lost the metal bit and she deflected and redirected the conversation avoiding responsibility.
So I ask of anyone who may have insights into this sort of situation I need a way to resolve this or at least make some head room the last 3 month have been hard on my grandmother and I don't know how to help she does everything she can to keep those kids around because she doesn't want to see them taken away by CPS and its just enabling her to keep having second chances to waste.
EDIT: I'm sure my grammar is atrocious I apologize for that I'm just too mad to care right now. I forgot to mention another big piece of the problem she also has done meth over the years and sold some of my grandparents stuff and the last run of CPS she was regularly drug tested and had to attend counsling which she has stated "didn't help" and was "stupid". She also has done meth since the last CPS case closed out back in July while my grandfather was in the hospital she claimed she couldn't handle the stress of him being in such bad shape even though it was a direct result of her doing drugs and neglecting her kids in the 1st place. Again she deflects her responsibility for her actions on someone else or and external factor instead of trying to solve her own compulsive behavior to do things she wants to regardless of the ramifications.
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