While I do think that the portrait has improved, I wouldn't call it done just yet.
I'm mostly not too big about the left eye and the mouth.
The eye should look more Asian.
I think what you're missing is the narrowing of the inner part of the eye, which distinguishes an Asian eye from a western eye squinting.
Then the position of the lower lip is too relaxed, as if he was just speaking.
In the aggressive expression in the original, the bottom lip should be shaped less like a U shape, and more like the bottom half of a hexagon, with three defined pretty much straight sides.
The lip is supposed to be poking out, showing all of the bottom front teeth, up to the gums.
The middle of the lower lip should show a tendency to go up higher than its sides.
Similarly, the corners of the upper lip should go up and apart from each other.
His lower jaw also gives the impression that it's slightly slanted to his right for some reason.
He is pulling his jaw forward, and since he is looking to his left (see that the right ear is more visible than the left one), the jaw should appear deviated to the right side of the picture.
This is both due to the shadow in the chin, and to a bit of weight from the right side of his jaw which I removed (notice jaw line on the right side of the picture, over the hair).
I also did some touch to the left side of the nose, which seems to be tilted to the wrong side, and the dimple under his nose looks crooked too, and probably shouldn't.
I also made some corrections to the ears, which together with the chin, I feel shift the perceived balance of the head.
I also did a slight touch to the height of his right shoulder, but I guess that's not really important.
There are other minor touchups here and there but they're probably not worth mentioning.