Death!

Armageddon

Armageddon

Active member
What do you do to cope with someone's death?
I've just recently lost a family member, and I want to know how to cope with it!
I put this in the Debate Room, because I guess you could debate on this topic....
But I just really need help!

Thanks!
 
I lost my dad 2 years ago, when i was gonna get my O level certificate on stage and my bro was gonna get his first academic certificate on stage too. My parents were not there to see it. I was sad.But at around 11 after the function was over i heard my dad passed away, i couldn't believe it.
So my uncles took me to the hospital to see him and i was shocked and cried it was unbearable, what was even more painful was to see my bro cry coz he was more closer to my father.
Next they took me home, i had to explain to my mom that he passed away because although the house was full of people everyone waited for me to tell her.I cant explain to you how sad she was, she was crying and shocked and..
In Saudi according to Islam we bury the body within 48 hours after death so the next day around 3pm in the evening we buried him.

The tradition may be different in your country but friends and relatives stayed at my home for 2 to 3 weeks, people brought food etc
Now I am the breadwinner of the family i have to support them. And to answer your question how did i deal with my dads death well i prayed to God, asked that he be accepted to heaven.I donno if you are religious but if you lost someone close to you make sure you are surrounded with your friends and relatives, and never lose hope. Death comes to anyone at any time. Remember "Every soul shall taste death" It is a part of living. I hope you lead a good life, the first few days will be very tough but you have to move on. And never forget those who died just remember them always and think of the good things they did with you.
 
my condolences for your loss.. I lost my dad when I was 11.. actually, I lost TONS of family but that was the biggest loss of all. my advice to you would be to try and be strong for the ones in your family that are weaker than you and can't deal with loss. idk how close you were to the person but if it's really close you'll most likely realize the loss at some point, when this happened to my family (maybe due to the age, idk), I was the one holding everyone and when I was around 15 collapsed myself. now, when I was going through this, I should have handled it way better, I started smoking and gained weight and other crap like that, overall it was letting myself be all.. whatever, idc about anything. so, if you feel like you're going under this path, deal with it the way you feel it would be best for you, don't let it consume you. you like music? then listen to the music. you like going out and watching the stars in total peace? do that. whatever makes you feel better, talk to people you trust, just don't let yourself fall into this vortex where grieving becomes something that takes the best of you. after all, your loved one would never want you to suffer. summing up, after 13 years of my own loss I can tell you that the hardest part is not letting this take the best of you so you can be who you are or become an even better person and grow up in mind and also be able to support your other loved ones. I was forced to grow up due to what happened and am what I am today, the teachings of your loved one become a life guide for you. time does heal but you will never be fully healed, f.e. if I think of something fun my dad and I used to do, I'll remember with joy, yet, there is always a taste of sadness in it. not as immense, but still, it's always there. last thing that comes to mind to say to you is that you shouldn't be afraid if you'll forget the person you lost. tons of people think so for some reason, I don't get it but whatever, but if you love someone you don't ever forget about them. if anything else comes to your mind about the subject, feel free to ask me
 
mourning and time.

I lost my grandmother august the 16th, her husband (for me he was like a grandpa, i have known him for nearly 20 years) died two days ago, yesterday on the funeral of my grandmother i heard that my former boss (good guy) lays in the hospital with serious injuries, a windstorm hit the hot air balloon in which is was. It is all like a ****in nightmare to me, my mother nearly collapsed to all the trouble.

Surfing through the net or talking with my friends is the only way for me to forget the all this. Games, movies and all that other stuff became so unimportant and boring to me.
 
SolidSheik said:
I lost my dad 2 years ago, when i was gonna get my O level certificate on stage and my bro was gonna get his first academic certificate on stage too. My parents were not there to see it. I was sad.But at around 11 after the function was over i heard my dad passed away, i couldn't believe it.
So my uncles took me to the hospital to see him and i was shocked and cried it was unbearable, what was even more painful was to see my bro cry coz he was more closer to my father.
Next they took me home, i had to explain to my mom that he passed away because although the house was full of people everyone waited for me to tell her.I cant explain to you how sad she was, she was crying and shocked and..
In Saudi according to Islam we bury the body within 48 hours after death so the next day around 3pm in the evening we buried him.

The tradition may be different in your country but friends and relatives stayed at my home for 2 to 3 weeks, people brought food etc
Now I am the breadwinner of the family i have to support them. And to answer your question how did i deal with my dads death well i prayed to God, asked that he be accepted to heaven.I donno if you are religious but if you lost someone close to you make sure you are surrounded with your friends and relatives, and never lose hope. Death comes to anyone at any time. Remember "Every soul shall taste death" It is a part of living. I hope you lead a good life, the first few days will be very tough but you have to move on. And never forget those who died just remember them always and think of the good things they did with you.
Click to expand...

Yea i'm islam too, we barried the body the next day, and I cried and cried, but live just goes on!
Im sorry for ur lost as well!

ninja said:
my condolences for your loss.. I lost my dad when I was 11.. actually, I lost TONS of family but that was the biggest loss of all. my advice to you would be to try and be strong for the ones in your family that are weaker than you and can't deal with loss. idk how close you were to the person but if it's really close you'll most likely realize the loss at some point, when this happened to my family (maybe due to the age, idk), I was the one holding everyone and when I was around 15 collapsed myself. now, when I was going through this, I should have handled it way better, I started smoking and gained weight and other crap like that, overall it was letting myself be all.. whatever, idc about anything. so, if you feel like you're going under this path, deal with it the way you feel it would be best for you, don't let it consume you. you like music? then listen to the music. you like going out and watching the stars in total peace? do that. whatever makes you feel better, talk to people you trust, just don't let yourself fall into this vortex where grieving becomes something that takes the best of you. after all, your loved one would never want you to suffer. summing up, after 13 years of my own loss I can tell you that the hardest part is not letting this take the best of you so you can be who you are or become an even better person and grow up in mind and also be able to support your other loved ones. I was forced to grow up due to what happened and am what I am today, the teachings of your loved one become a life guide for you. time does heal but you will never be fully healed, f.e. if I think of something fun my dad and I used to do, I'll remember with joy, yet, there is always a taste of sadness in it. not as immense, but still, it's always there. last thing that comes to mind to say to you is that you shouldn't be afraid if you'll forget the person you lost. tons of people think so for some reason, I don't get it but whatever, but if you love someone you don't ever forget about them. if anything else comes to your mind about the subject, feel free to ask me
Click to expand...
Thnx for the help!
Im sorry for ur lost too!
 
I lost my mom 2yrs ago. We had a special relationship, 'I annoyed the crap out of her' she was mostly serious and very prudent as I endeavored to make her crack a smile. Sometimes I managed to do it, most of the time well....I annoyed the crap out of her.
We all could see it coming. I didn't really want to think, or talk about it, I didn't even want to acknowledge it. One day she went into the ER then a few agonizing weeks in the ICU we got the call. It hurt like physical pain in my chest quite unbearable.
Right now the only advice I have that's worth a damn in this situation is, either find a shoulder to cry on, or lend a shoulder to cry on.
Realize that life will go on.
I'm not sure how old you are, but I think this applies to young adults aswell.
 
Shang 'T' Sung said:
I lost my mom 2yrs ago. We had a special relationship, 'I annoyed the crap out of her' she was mostly serious and very prudent as I endeavored to make her crack a smile. Sometimes I managed to do it, most of the time well....I annoyed the crap out of her.
We all could see it coming. I didn't really want to think, or talk about it, I didn't even want to acknowledge it. One day she went into the ER then a few agonizing weeks in the ICU we got the call. It hurt like physical pain in my chest quite unbearable.
Right now the only advice I have that's worth a damn in this situation is, either find a shoulder to cry on, or lend a shoulder to cry on.
Realize that life will go on.
I'm not sure how old you are, but I think this applies to young adults aswell.
Click to expand...

Yea my chest hurted like crap the first few days, it was like my heart was going to stop.....
 
mourning, time and closure
find ways of getting distracted,if your islam do go to the islamic building of worship
get involved in some acttivities with other people to pass the time
and if you haven't already talk about this with your family
 
Havok said:
mourning, time and closure
find ways of getting distracted,if your islam do go to the islamic building of worship
get involved in some acttivities with other people to pass the time
and if you haven't already talk about this with your family
Click to expand...

Yea, talk to my family lol....
THEY JUST WON'T LEAVE, im not talking about my mom or cousins, its the family u dnt know, like ur mom's aunts sister or ur aunts aunts cousin!
WHO ARE THEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Armageddon said:
Yea, talk to my family lol....
THEY JUST WON'T LEAVE, im not talking about my mom or cousins, its the family u dnt know, like ur mom's aunts sister or ur aunts aunts cousin!
WHO ARE THEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

yeah I mostly hate my distant family I meant with your household family
 
Armageddon said:
What do you do to cope with someone's death?
I've just recently lost a family member, and I want to know how to cope with it!
I put this in the Debate Room, because I guess you could debate on this topic....
But I just really need help!

Thanks!
Click to expand...

I cope with a lot of rainbows!

Other than that, every time someone that has passed that has been close to me or my family, we party and tell stories. Stories no one has ever heard before. Just try and laugh because someday, we all meet up again.

My condolences Armageddon.
 
Armageddon said:
What do you do to cope with someone's death?
I've just recently lost a family member, and I want to know how to cope with it!
I put this in the Debate Room, because I guess you could debate on this topic....
But I just really need help!

Thanks!
Click to expand...

It is not a debate. Please stop putting everything that comes to your mind in the debate section. Have a look at the other topics there, read them, and familiarize yourself with what kind of topics are debates.

=)

Anyways, the best way to deal with death (it at least works for me) is to remember the times when they were alive and the fun that was had. You can't bring anyone back so beating yourself up over their death wont help. Talk to them, they wil hear you.

Funny this convo came up, as I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she told me that my cousin (she is 3 or 4) was at the table combing her doll's hair and having a full out conversation while she sat alone and my uncle was on the couch. He asked her who she was talking to and she said 'grandma' and she sat there talking to my grandma for about 10 minutes. When she stopped talking, my uncle asked why she stopped and she said 'grandma went back to heaven'.

I thought that was pretty awesome =)
 
Last edited:
The best way to get upon death (IMO) is forget about the person and move on, at least is what I did.
 
Viking_Poodle said:
Wow Fox. That's some pretty shitty advice. Awesome job, bro.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I appreciate sarcasm.

I'll put it more clear, you can remember all the time and torture yourself and stay sad, or forget about the subject and move on, as sad and coldhearted as it sounds, is a good way. I know it by experience.

I always look forward, there is no point in looking back.
 
Fox17 said:
Thanks, I appreciate sarcasm.

I'll put it more clear, you can remember all the time and torture yourself and stay sad, or forget about the subject and move on, as sad and coldhearted as it sounds, is a good way. I know it by experience.
Click to expand...


Remembering someone =/= staying sad.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top