You might like mine, but it's all about your taste in a story.
I try to make it a story I'd like to read (as a casual reader, with lots of profanity and smoking.. stuff I like) and of course, cliffhangers.
Also, plenty of plot devices and foreshadowing.. things you have to notice or you'll be taken by surprise at the end of the tale.
My story's a 5 chapter tale, the link is in my sig.
Book 1 will actually be finished tomorrow, and any questions you have, you can ask them in the q and a thread (which will be up tomorrow, too.)
As long as it's not written in too difficult English, I'm fine