Damn I've got alot of problems

M

Midget Kong

New member
I don't even know how to explain it and I can't tell you the reason but I just went through two suicide attempts in one day.

by right I should probably commit myself but knowing what I know about those places it wouldn't help me.
isolation,and them making you say everything is fine when it's obviously not.

can what is left of my online friends that aren't pissed at give me a bit of support here.
I would really appreciate it.

and please no mean responses.
I'm seriously ****ed in the head right now and I need positive and heart felt advice and.

I just feel so dead inside.

please help me out guys
 
Whenever I feel down I remember that all of it will pass. Life is all about growing by facing the darkness and perservering. Just grit your teeth, lower your head, and plow through it all. Tommorow is a new day, and the future is what you make of it.
 
I'd say if you think you need to be insitutionalized then do it. It doesn't matter what you're heard, they send people there and sometimes they get better. It's not like you're going to an asylum and if you check yourself in you can go anytime you want. You won't know if it helps until you find out for yourself. Short of that, I suggest thinking about why you want to keep on living in the first place, and what life is about. I like to think life is about being happy as much of the time as possible. And that's how I try to live, even if it doesn't always work that way. Still, just don't fly off the handle when something bad happens and try something you havn't tried before. A change of pace is a good way to perk up your mood when you're down.

Get a pet maybe? I know I would never willingly leave my dog alone without me here to protect it. Hell I don't even like to leave it with friends when I go on a trip. That's a big reason for me to keep on living.
 
Glamador said:
I'd say if you think you need to be insitutionalized then do it. It doesn't matter what you're heard, they send people there and sometimes they get better. It's not like you're going to an asylum and if you check yourself in you can go anytime you want. You won't know if it helps until you find out for yourself. Short of that, I suggest thinking about why you want to keep on living in the first place, and what life is about. I like to think life is about being happy as much of the time as possible. And that's how I try to live, even if it doesn't always work that way. Still, just don't fly off the handle when something bad happens and try something you havn't tried before. A change of pace is a good way to perk up your mood when you're down.

Get a pet maybe? I know I would never willingly leave my dog alone without me here to protect it. Hell I don't even like to leave it with friends when I go on a trip. That's a big reason for me to keep on living.
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I guess if this happens again I will put myself in if it's as you say that I can leave when I want.
until then I guess I'm gonna try to deal with it a bit better.today just wasn't a day where I could think rationally.
I get certain thoughts that just pound at my brain and it's hard to stop.
usually I feel a little better if I smoke a bit cause it calms me down but my inner pain never ceases.

thanks for the advice Glamador,I'm sorry that a while ago we got off on the wrong foot.

also thanks for the support bojac.
 
i never post here anymore, really dont have time and/or an interest for online conversations, i just come by to check out mk news, cause well, once an mk fan, always an mk fan. i saw this in the main page and thought id take a look, glad i did because the walls of the internet and the impersonal concept of it cant put a wall around people reaching out to others.

man, ive been there and im still not sure why. when i was 16 i tried and got into cutting myself, as cliche as it sounds, cause it felt good and would side track what was going on in my head. i stopped all that shit and just moved on, probably around 18 i fell back into it, taking lots of pills, drinking way too much and passing out on my floor, trying to mix as much as possible to fall asleep and tackle a new day. when i was around 19 i was a full blown alcoholic. i would drink my parents whiskey and booze and pretty much black out all the time, wake up with blood on my arms and realize "****, why did i do that and how will i hide that?" every second i had alone i would just do this. id be late to work, not go to school, not wake up until 4 or 5 when my parents would get home, go out with friends, get high, come home, blackout. that went on for way too long. its just weird i can look at my arms and still see the countless cuts. i decided to stop all of this and i ended up getting a tattoo to remind me, this isnt worth it. how can being dead be better than being alive?

thing is, i have a shitload of amazing friends, been dating the girl of my dreams since i was 19, im 24 now, i was in a very popular punk band, traveled and toured, amazing family, i really was not the poster child for what i was doing to myself.

all i can say my friend, is find an outlet. for me, i got into writing, and no im not gonna call it poetry, it was writing. writing was my transitional outlet through all of what the **** was going on in my obsessive compulsive, anxiety ridden head. i wrote during the best of my times and through the worst of my times, sure id be upset when i was writing when i was ****ed up, but it was a positive for me. it was a constant positive.

so, if there can be a constant positive through ups and downs, why cant i apply that to my life?

i stopped over thinking, i learned to smile when i was weirded out, laugh out loud, be polite to people, etc.

nothing is worth doing if the end result is negative.

like i said, im 24 now, 8 years after all this shit happened, i think im almost normal and i havent done any of that shit (well, except getting black out drunk, i think weve all been there every now and then...) what would i have missed if i had killed myself? i have an amazing, well paying job, just bought my own condo, amazing girlfriend, all the memories with my friends, traveling and playing music, graduated from college and made my parents so proud, able to purchase my first 2008 car. im not bragging by any means, i am saying you dont know what the future holds, you cant know, that's why its the future. im glad i didnt **** up big time one of those nights, otherwise id miss out on all that and i wouldnt be able to try and help another person, who i dont know at all, even though i feel i do.

"a problem either has a solution, or does not have a solution. if the problem has one, there is no need to worry. if the problem does not have one, there is no need to worry, as there is nothing that can be done except accept it."

i probably wont check this again, but i hope i helped.
 
I consider suicide a form of natural selection. Those that do it right have very little control over their emotions and often wont seek help in the first place. Those that do it wrong, are often looking for attention. Whatever your case, I'd say seek help whether you feel like you might do it again or not.
 
Dude, i'm going through this too. I haven't actually attempted but i've deeply thought about it. My wife slapped a divorce on me and she's seeing another man. I have a job where i work nights and i never get to see my son (which is the reason i live.) Also, on my days off i don't have anything to do. I sit at home and read then go to bed around 9. Lame. But i'm pulling through it. I just always think about how it's darkest before the dawn. And things have been getting better. I don't know how long it's been for you but i've been going through this for 2 months. I have a set of friends i hang out with now, and i'm getting a new job so i can see my son. Just find those little things that make you happy, or put yourself in a situation to make you happy. If smoking does it, then i say do that cause getting arrested is still better than losing your life. I'm hoping for you man. You've been going to these (and other MK boards) for awhile now. Pull through man.
 
The only advice I can really offer is that it helps to be able to find any kind of contentment, no matter how brief, in any kind of act, no matter how small. Looking forward to a new metal CD, a new movie, a new game, a new anything? If you are, focus on that. Obsess over it if you have to. At least live for the tiny bursts of happiness you're sure to find if you look hard enough.

No matter how down you could be at any given point, never forget that it's statistically impossible for things to turn out for the worse all of the time. Fantastic things can't happen 100% of the time, but shit can't pour down 100% of the time either.
 
I actually think my continued existence is due more to curiosity than anything else. I'm curious about death too. But why would I bring it on myself when I know it's coming eventually anyway? I want to see how things are going to turn out, and if I can keep myself happy while I watch the show all the better. But really, if I killed myself (or allowed myself to die) I'd always kick myself wondering what would have happened next. It's like walking out in the middle of a good movie.
 
I know how you feel, MK, I've been like that this week myself. I let myself get into some drug use, some drinking, and some self-harm. I know how you feel.

I don't know your situation, and I don't need to go into detail about mine, but I do want you to know this. Sometimes knowing that it will pass is all you need to keep you going.

I've been telling everyone who tells me that it's "Going to be okay" that I don't give two craps about what it's GOING to be, I want it to be okay NOW. I don't know for sure, but you probably feel like that too.

I want you to know this, Deathcore is right, all you need is to find something to look forward to. To quote a recent movie, it's always darkest before the dawn. If you realize now that this isn't the way you want to be, then you need to think of what you need to keep you going.

I managed to pull myself out, and I know you can too, just try and find something worth living for.
 
You need some serious professional medical/mental help.

Coming to a forum for Mortal Kombat asking for this kind of help tells me there is something very, very wrong.

Do it soon, do it now. All you got to lose is everything, so it couldnt, and it wont hurt to try.
 
Suicide isn't the answer no matter how bad you feel. Speaking as somebody who lost a relative only last year, you can't imagine the amount of people your death would affect and how much pain you would bring to those you love the most.

Seeking medical help would be the best thing to do, if you don't want to go into an institute then just seeing a psychiatrist/councillor would be as good I think and they could advise if you needed to visit one.
 
Everybody is right MK. I mean around here we just lost a kid in a car accident that was good friends with us, the pain is insufferable, and it would have been selfish of me to harm myself. Just remember, some people didn't want it to come. You have a choice. Some people would love to still be here yet they aren't. I hope you get better man.
 
I guess I'm something of a selfish person...I don't really ever think about who would miss me when I'm gone. Except my dog of course, I don't trust anybody with her but me and my mom. But I keep on trucking because I want to see what happens next and that's all. Even if you don't want to live for all the people who will miss you (and that seems like a common piece of advice, I hate cliches) then live for yourself. Hell, I havn't even found anything to dedicate myself to, I'm just curious.

I see a lot of these posts above saying "I've been there, things get better" or "Think about the people you leave behind!" But I just don't buy that. Live because it's an adventure, because you'll kick yourself if you end it too soon, and because sometimes you just can't ask yourself "Why should I go on?" and just ask yourself "Why not?"

Of course a pessimist will find a negative answer to both those questions. Some people just like to find the dog crap in a field of flowers. Don't be one of those people.
 
LIFE'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT SO LETS MAKE IT ROCK MAKE IT ROCK YEA LIFES WHAT YOU MAKE IT SO COME ON COME ON.
-Hannah Montana

LOL!
 
thank you so much for the support guys.
I already have been seeing a phsychiatrist for years now.and it has helped but it seems I've had a relapse of suicidal thoughts and acts.
I've only posted this here as I wanted a bit of support from the community that I've felt most comfortable in and made alot of friends at.
I consider many of you to be intelligent and mature enough to approach this subject.
I have many friends and they know and helped me,even wrestled me down to try to stop me from going through the other pane of glass that I didn't make it through the first time.
I have a few bruises from them wrestling me down.
took about 3 people to keep me down so I couldn't harm myself anymore than I already did.
I did get one cut from the glass I did go through and odds are if I was to go through the window the second time I would have been impaled on a fence.

I think of all the people who replied Sapphire seems to have the best idea of what's going on for me.
although probably over different circumstances.
 
Hey man. You've known me for quite some time now, and how i've had to endure countless times when i've been down or really depressed. I went to the hospital in January for a few days and it helped me in the short run ... but, that was being under medication ... i would very much rather not be.

I took meds for 3 months. Then i ran out of 'em and that was it for me (no medical insurance to cover me, plus the cost of those meds was very high .... more than 100 dollars); i decided that i wanted to live life WITHOUT medication. Like most people here have said, usually finding something to get yourself involved deeply in is a good thing. Lately for me it's games ... it can be a good outlet to release anger and frustration at, especially in first person shooters.

I'm not very trusting of people in general, but, having 1 or 2 very good friends does help also, people that will REALLY be there for you through the good and bad, not moochers who will talk to you only in the good moments.

Look at it this way. In good things, you are very intelligent, creative (see: the ninja graphic you made); and all the knowledge about things you possess... sometimes you have to take a look at yourself and give yourself a whole lot of credit and pride to enhance your self esteem.

I won't mention past examples of things i tried to do or didn't ... i attempt my best to leave the past where it should be, as distant of a memory as humanly possible.

I know my reply isn't the best but i hope it helped to some extent. I'm always around on AIM, come talk to me if you need to!
 
Topics like this, I am always a bit anal with.


I just find it hard to believe that people think they have it bad when they have a roof over their head, food on the table, clothes on their back, an internet connection, video games, an education....Maybe if people would go to a third world country, they'll see what having it hard REALLY means.

Everyone has their ups and downs in life. The best thing you can do is talk to people and let all of your feelings out. It makes you feel a lot better.

Suicide is the pussy way out. People who do that are just too damn lazy to deal with their problems so they take the easy way out.

Did you ever notice that people who are living a shitty life are usually smiling? They really have no reason to smile because they live in a third word country where they can't even get clean water but they smile because they're alive and they don't take for granted what little they have.

Don't take any of this the wrong way but people who think suicide need to sit back and actually contemplate their lives. You DON'T have it bad. You've just hit a bump in the road like everyone else. I have, you have, everyone has. It's up to you to pull yourself up and change the things about your life that you don't like. Think of all those little kids who barely survive past the age of 5 and be happy you're growing up in a country where you're being taken care of.
 
Glamador said:
I'd say if you think you need to be insitutionalized then do it. It doesn't matter what you're heard, they send people there and sometimes they get better. It's not like you're going to an asylum and if you check yourself in you can go anytime you want. You won't know if it helps until you find out for yourself. Short of that, I suggest thinking about why you want to keep on living in the first place, and what life is about. I like to think life is about being happy as much of the time as possible. And that's how I try to live, even if it doesn't always work that way. Still, just don't fly off the handle when something bad happens and try something you havn't tried before. A change of pace is a good way to perk up your mood when you're down.

Get a pet maybe? I know I would never willingly leave my dog alone without me here to protect it. Hell I don't even like to leave it with friends when I go on a trip. That's a big reason for me to keep on living.
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I agree with Glamadore, My Goldfish, Raul got me through my despression, seriously no joke
 
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