Moltar
New member
Behold! The message that Raiden send to his past self from the future:
These are the words of the thunder god. Moltar has spoken!
Um...Hi...me...or past me I guess...so you're probably wondering why you're hearing yourself in your head...or maybe you're not.... You see, I'm in the future, right...I mean, you're in the future...or you will be in the future and... Look, Shao Kahn is here and... oh yeah, he is defiantly gonna kill me. So, I'm sending you... I mean, me...or past me...which is you...in the past...I'm sending you this message from the future so you can kill Shao Kahn for me in the past, Okay...? Anyway, some shit happened with these two brothers and this fire guy and something with a sword. Long story short, Shao Kahn goes ape-shit and kills everybody. So, here I am on the edge of a cliff about to get my noggin cracked open like a watermelon at a Gallagher show. So, if you could like, kill him for me? Like, before the end of the third tournament, that would be totally awesome. Now, there's a few things you should know. First, if for some reason Liu Kang is killed don't, I repeat, don't reactivate he's corpse. Holy shit, that was a stupid idea! Don't even get me started! Every day I'd walk up to him and say "Hey, Liu! What's crackin'?" and every day he would say the same thing, "Braaaaaainnssss".
"Really, Lui? is that what's crackin'? Cause I could have sworn that was what was crackin' yesterday and the day before that and the day before that!"
"Braaaaaaainnns..."
"You know what, Liu? Maybe if you used the one I refurbish in that stinkin' bag o'flesh you call a body, we could be indulging in more interesting topics of conversation instead of discussing your goddamn eating habits!"
Then he would run off crying like a little ***** and start gnawing on some Shaolin monks head. Oh, and the smell! It was like walking around with guy made out of old cheese and burnt rubber...ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick...uhh...okay, I think I'm good. Let's see what else...Okay, So Liu Kang is the tournament champion, Mileena in a clone with Tarkata DNA, Sub-Zero has a brother, that ***** Tanya is a spy and if Johnny Cage gets killed, screw that guy. He's an asshole. Well, I gotta rap this up. Shao Kahn's got his big-ass hammer out and I'm running out of minutes anyway. That's another thing, don't go with Verison. Seriously, man. They suck. Later.
Oh, and before I forget, if you're thinking about getting "down an' dirty" with Mileena, don't. I caught something that no amount of sorcery or medication could ever get rid of...
Also, she has fangs in her vagi- *splat*
"Really, Lui? is that what's crackin'? Cause I could have sworn that was what was crackin' yesterday and the day before that and the day before that!"
"Braaaaaaainnns..."
"You know what, Liu? Maybe if you used the one I refurbish in that stinkin' bag o'flesh you call a body, we could be indulging in more interesting topics of conversation instead of discussing your goddamn eating habits!"
Then he would run off crying like a little ***** and start gnawing on some Shaolin monks head. Oh, and the smell! It was like walking around with guy made out of old cheese and burnt rubber...ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick...uhh...okay, I think I'm good. Let's see what else...Okay, So Liu Kang is the tournament champion, Mileena in a clone with Tarkata DNA, Sub-Zero has a brother, that ***** Tanya is a spy and if Johnny Cage gets killed, screw that guy. He's an asshole. Well, I gotta rap this up. Shao Kahn's got his big-ass hammer out and I'm running out of minutes anyway. That's another thing, don't go with Verison. Seriously, man. They suck. Later.
Oh, and before I forget, if you're thinking about getting "down an' dirty" with Mileena, don't. I caught something that no amount of sorcery or medication could ever get rid of...
Also, she has fangs in her vagi- *splat*
These are the words of the thunder god. Moltar has spoken!
