Why can't I find any guy that I want that would also want me?
Overall, my standards are already low and realistic in terms of happiness in life. Why do I have to go lower? Why is it that in the times where I'm suppose to be enjoying and free from work, @$$holes have to appear? Why is it that I'm not appreciated and respected enough in public? I'm a decent, sweet person who deserves way better and I know I do. Why do people have to be so harsh? Why is it that a lot of Filipino cultures are still homophobic (and those people who follow it deserve to burn right before my eyes)? Also those other gay people who are mean to me deserve to burn right before my eyes. In fact all my enemies deserve to burn right before my eyes. Yet they get away with all the BS they do to me and others. I keep doing my thing but why do I feel like I can't do much about these matters.
It's like hospice, all nurses (including me) can do is comfort measures for a dying patient because he/she cannot live any longer.
Unfortunately, right now, that's how I feel about my happiness. It's dying and all I can do is keep doing my obligations at work and everyday life but I can't find the joy that I truly want, the justice I've been yearning for, I can't find the guys that will truly want me for me and not for anything else from me, and just many matters and people opposing me when they're not suppose to.
But I'll say this much, it's a lot better than high school. Still, my life should be a lot better than how it is now.
SINCERE APOLOGIES from my enemies will be a BIG HELP but I'm not expecting that as much as I want to.