Two new warriors

Karen Andrews

Karen Andrews

New member
Location-London

Karen:Papa can I invite Erica over?
Michael:Im sorry karen but me Your mother and And little brother have to go to the doctor.
Karen:What am I supposed to do?
Michael:Enough Karen!
Karen:Ugh I hate you!
Karen said as she ran upstairs to her room.
Katie:Karen sweetie come lock the door We're leaving!
Karen:Mom im gonna be alone?
Katie:Yes but if im not wrong you had some London history homework!
Karen:Ugh fine.
karen said as she closed and locked the door. Karen was upstairs doing her london history homework when her blackberry started to ring."♪Rolling in the deep♪... Beep" Karen answered her phone...
Karen:Hello?
Erica:So what did your parents say?
Karen:My Mom,Dad,And little brother went to the doctor so im alone,My mom told me to finish my history homework. Karen sighed.
Erica:Can i come over if your home alone then?
Karen: Erica I-I don't know if this is okay?
Erica:Come on! What could possibly go wrong? Karen:okay fine but be quiet when you come over.
Erica:Sure. (3MinsLater) Lets play Dungeons and Dragons!
Karen:Thats my Cousin's Ps3 game!
Erica:Your cousin left to Spain!
Karen:Ok grab a remote.
Erica:Yay!
After about 5 minutes of playing Dungeons and Dragons the T.V. and the Ps3 system turned off and a green and black portal opened up.
Karen:W-What is That?
Erica:I-I don't know but im scared!
The portal sucked the girls inside.
Karen:Aghhhhhh!!!!
Erica:Aghhhhhhhhhh
karen:Help Please Anyone!!!!!!
Erica:Aghhhhhhhhh It hurts!!!!!.

To Be Continued...
 
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Shouldn't have stopped it there.
Not enough to keep me caring about a part 2.

2 Dungeon n Dragon nnnnyyerds get sucked into a portal.
Sounds like a 90's movie.



But that shouldn't keep you frpm writing more.
 
Hey, I'll read but you gotta beat this story with the editing stick. Its easy to get lost on who's talking
 
Its alright for starters! Spacing between lines, more descriptions for actions and a longer update will definitely help. Take your time to develop your story and plan it out well before writing it down, your story's quality will improve alot. Good luck! :)
 
Thanks guys for all suggestions but if anyone would care to help write another chapter go ahead because i need all the help i can get!
 
Armon hit it right on the momey. Your fic could be amazing if you developed an awesome plot.

Say they get sucked in and no way out unless they fight their way through to their world

OR

they find a lost society of people who got sucked in as well for an evil gladiator plot

OR

They can go in and out of the fanasty world to save their world. Like a special task force if you will.
 
Okay so i was guessing maybe The two girls are being forced to fight in the new tournament,and they have to fight if they want to see their family again. They choose the good side except Erica thinks that she may like being on the bad side.
 
Karen Andrews said:
Okay so i was guessing maybe The two girls are being forced to fight in the new tournament,and they have to fight if they want to see their family again. They choose the good side except Erica thinks that she may like being on the bad side.
Click to expand...

And boom you just came up with a boss-tier plot :-D
 
Thanks yung ur really Being helpful with this crazii story!

Karen And Erica Woke up and found themselves in a dungeon.
Karen:Erica Wake up!
Erica:Where are we?
Karen:In a Dungeon.
Erica:How?
Karen:How about enough of the questions and lets try to get out of here!
"There's No need for that."
Karen:Who are you?
Erica:As A matter Of fact where are you?
The Creature stepped out of the darkness to show herself.
Erica:What th-the Hell are you?
Sheeva:I am Sheeva A Shokan...
A guard comes over and whispers something into the four armed creature known to be sheeva's ear.
Sheeva:Get up!
Moments later the girls were almost rushed into a mysterious Throne Room.
Shao kahn:Ah so these are the girls?
Reptile:Yesss Massster.
Shao kahn:You two girls have a choice Join Or Die a horrible death!
Karen:Why are we here?
Shao kahn:To be My personal Assassins or to die
.Erica:I chose to be an Assassin!
Karen:Erica How could you?,We're best friends!!!!
Shao kahn:Good Choice...
Erica:Under One Condition!
Shao kahn:What?
Erica:Spare Karen's Life!
Karen was shocked at what Erica just said,She thought Erica would just join the evil side and leave karen to die.
Shao kahn:It is Done,Free Her!
Karen was freed but she still thought about Erica why she joined the evil side. When karen was outside the Emperor's palace she noticed Two paths,One path said Edenia and a Arrow pointing right and the other path said living forest It pointed to the left. Karen thought that This Edenia place sounds better than The living forest so she went on the path of Edenia.It took her about 3 Days just to get there but she found good water and good fruit to eat and drink.
Karen:So this is Edenia?
Karen walked up to a Large Castle. When she got close up to the doors...A guard immediately came up to her with a gun pointing straight into her face and he said"State Your Name and Business Here!!!"
Karen:I-I just wanted some help please I-Im Innocent I swear!!!
Guard:State your name.
Karen:Karen Andrews Im from London in a Place called Earth.
Queen Sindel:What Happened?
Sindel Said as she saw a girl Wearing a decorated Shirt with Light colored Small Shorts on,Who was somewhat thick and with back lenth Redish brownish hair.
 
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Thanks guys! I'm thinking karen is gonna meet queen sindel and kitana then when karen tries to get back in london but she can't because of dark magic. Karen decides that she must fight in order to get back to london.She forms an alliance with the Earth Defenders.Raiden helps and turns her into a powerful warrior.
 
Thats a great idea! Nice chronicles of narnia reference too I like it! Perhaps Karen can then help bring back her friend and the two characters find themselves drawn into the MK tournaments where they got to fight to survive.
 
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