Mortal Chavbat

I'm not British so I barely understood a word of that, or else I would give you my input :laugh:
I think kano steals jaxes phone whilst on the council estate or something like that. Im british and live in the ghetto to say but i cant really make out whats happened. I commend the use of "bellend" tho
Bellend is my second favourite word.
You're correct about what is going on and I have a readable version upwards.