MK Story:The Attack of Outworld"ch1

Noob-Ermac

Noob-Ermac

New member
Here is a MK related story i have been working on.I am not done yet and i borrowed some ideas people had about how this should of happened like that in MK,with out asking.I only have 3 chapters (1 selection) done.
Enjoy: The Attack of Outworld
Selection 1:Kombat Begins

Chapter 1: Stryker's Entry

Intro: After Lui Kang won the 3rd Mortal Kombat,Kurtis Stryker ( who wanted to win MK3) seeks revenge.

Inside Kurtis Stryker's "Nightmare": {"Oh Lui,I love you!" Sonya said romantically."WHAT?!!"Stryker thought.}
"AHH!" Stryker screamed while he woke up."It was only a dream."Stryker said in relief. "Ihope that wasn't a dream!" Stryker thought,hopefully.
"STRYKER!LET'S GET'A GOIN'!!WE CANT GET TO THE TOURNEMENT WITHOUT YOU YA' KNOW!!" Jax yelled from another room."OAKY!!I'M COMING!" STryker yelled. Stryker walked out of his room and into the ship room ( where all the ships are. )"Hey Jax!" Stryker said perkiely."Hey!"Jax ansewered." I need to let the dos out.I'll be back!"Jax said then walked into the restroom and started humming loudly."ewww.To much info."Stryker said to himself."ooh!Haha!" Stryker said looking at a ship.Stryker got in the ship and left.
Later..
"Yes!I'm at the kombat Island."Stryker said excitedly."Uh oh..Oh....."Stryker started to cuss."I'm being shot at"He said fearfully."Stop fireing at me!I'm just entering the tourney!"Stryker yelled out the window.The people who were shooting Stryker talked to eachother,but they were to far for Stryker to hear.One of the pilots looked at Stryker and pointed down,and Stryker knew that that ment land.Then Stryker thought of his dream/"No Sonya!Don't kiss Lui!" Stryker said."fwew!It was just a little kiss."Stryker said relief.
Later..
Stryker lands on the Island and get's out and yells "AHH,"For no reason."Greetings"said the piolot."Less talking,where is the sign up list?"Stryker said uncalmly."Through that door,then you-you?Where'd you go?"
Prolog: Then,Stryker got to the finals of MK4,and his opponent won.His opponent was Lui Kang. So Stryker (who was furious),entered MK5.Now,he will get his revenge.

This is all of Chapter 1.I will post Capter 2 when i'm not busy.
 
hey mna not to bad but just a pointer from a actuall script writer dont se too many stryker thoughts, so stryker saids, ect ect. try to tie them in seemlessly
 
biggystyles said:
hey mna not to bad but just a pointer from a actuall script writer dont se too many stryker thoughts, so stryker saids, ect ect. try to tie them in seemlessly
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Here,I edited it to make it so it's has a script:

SCRIPT VERSION
The Attack of Outworld

Selection 1:Kombat Begins

Chapter 1: Stryker's Entry

Intro: After Lui Kang won the 3rd Mortal Kombat,Kurtis Stryker ( who wanted to win MK3) seeks revenge.

Inside Kurtis Stryker's "Nightmare":
{"Oh Lui,I love you!" Sonya said romantically."WHAT?!!"Stryker thought.}
Stryker:"AHH!" .It was only a dream.Ihope that wasn't a dream!"
Jax:"STRYKER!LET'S GET'A GOIN'!!WE CANT GET TO THE TOURNEMENT WITHOUT YOU YA' KNOW!!"
Stryker:"OAKY!!I'M COMING!"
Stryker walks out of his room and into the ship room ( where all the ships are. )
Stryker:"Hey Jax!"
Jax:"Hey!. I need to let the dos out.I'll be back!"humming
Jax goes into the restroom.
Stryker:."ewww.To much info."."ooh!....Haha!"
Stryker got into a ship and left.
Later..
Stryker:"Yes!I'm at the kombat Island..Uh oh..Oh.....Shit!Fuck!Damn it!I'm being shot at.Stop fireing at me!I'm just entering the tourney!".
The people who were shooting Stryker talked to eachother,but they were to far for Stryker to hear.One of the pilots looked at Stryker and pointed down,and Stryker knew that that ment land.Then Stryker thought of his dream.
Stryker:"No Sonya!Don't kiss Lui!"."fwew!It was just a little kiss."
Later..
Stryker lands on the Island and get's out and yells "AHH,"For no reason.
Piolot:Greetings!
Stryker:"Less talking,where is the sign up list?"
Piolot:."Through that door,then you-you?Where'd you go?"

Prolog: Then,Stryker got to the finals of MK4,and his opponent won.His opponent was Lui Kang. So Stryker (who was furious),entered MK5.Now,he will get his revenge.
 
Dont get me wrong I like what you are doing and i can see it has possibility if u work at it take this line:
OAKY!!I'M COMING!" STryker yelled. Stryker walked out of his room and into the ship room ( where all the ships are. )"Hey Jax!" Stryker said perkiely."Hey!"Jax ansewered


I would have went

"Ok, I am comming!" Stryker yelled as he walked from his room to the ship room. As he entered he perikly (sic) said "hey"



When you go from talking and using one character you dont need to keep saying things like stryer did this stryker said that, becase as the reader we know that u are using him untill u introduce another character
 
biggystyles said:
Dont get me wrong I like what you are doing and i can see it has possibility if u work at it take this line:
OAKY!!I'M COMING!" STryker yelled. Stryker walked out of his room and into the ship room ( where all the ships are. )"Hey Jax!" Stryker said perkiely."Hey!"Jax ansewered


I would have went

"Ok, I am comming!" Stryker yelled as he walked from his room to the ship room. As he entered he perikly (sic) said "hey"



When you go from talking and using one character you dont need to keep saying things like stryer did this stryker said that, becase as the reader we know that u are using him untill u introduce another character
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Ok,I'll do that next time,too!
 
Effort is given, but not very much so.. 4/10.

Don't take this the wrong way Noob, but if your so eager to write something, I suggest you take the time to correct gramatical and spelling errors, it makes it more presentable.
 
Prophet said:
Effort is given, but not very much so.. 4/10.

Don't take this the wrong way Noob, but if your so eager to write something, I suggest you take the time to correct gramatical and spelling errors, it makes it more presentable.
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I'm not eager,I wrote this a long time ago,i just haven't worked on it in a while so i felt like posting the 1st chapter on TRMK.I have 4 chapters already written.It's okay that you gave me a 4/10,there are no hard feelings between us(was there ever?).
 
Disappointed said:
Just a tiny tip, Prologue is at the beginning, and Epilogues are at the end. :)
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Lmao. :lol:

And the storyline isn't that bad. But like Prophet said, work on the spelling and grammar. I'm working on a gothic/macabre story, but I'm lacking a good idea for characters. You should try revising your's.
 
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