Help Toxic Write Song Lyrics/Poetry

Toxic

New member
I've been working on a piece for a little while now, intending it to be lyrics for a musical project I'm setting up. Thing is, it really doesn't suit the feel of the music I'm planning on setting the lyrics to, so it might just end up being a poem or something. I don't really know. Either way, I think it still needs some work, but I'm not quite sure what else to do with it. Any thoughts you guys might have, changes you'd recommend, or musical ideas you might want to put forth are all equally desirable.

Anybody who's ever listened to the band Cormorant will probably notice that the work of Arthur von Nagel has heavily influenced my own. Indeed, this is tied quite closely to some of Arthur's work, probably because I absolutely love it.

So without further ado I present...

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Death's Good Grace

Consciousness fading...
Vision decaying...
Adrift - a lake of the dead!
On the horizon...
The Ferryman's boat...
The tides turn stygian red!

Death's presence upon me now,
Skeletal hands o'er my eyes.
The reapers arm reaches from the bow,
Beckoning me to rise!

He plucked me from the waters,
And pulled me to the shore.
I felt the tears gather,
But he told me "Weep no more."

"Shed tears not for your loved ones,
We'll watch them from above."
Then with a gentle smile,
He stripped my flesh from bone.

"You have no need for mortal mesh,"
He said as I dissolved.
"The body god has fashioned thee
Will ease away your woes."

Nervous though I was,
I took that for the truth.
I took the reapers whispered words
And prayed he bore no ruth.

Then death flashed me a smile,
And he tore his cloak away.
Revealing an angels golden face,
Wings poised proud as day.

"Come with me my mortal friend,
We go to dawn's embrace."
Then the angel took my arm,
And pulled my soul away.

I flew in death's good grace.
Her grip, a radiant dawn!
Leaving the world for heavens gates,
I wept for myself no more.

The tunnel of light before me,
Death beckoned me deep inside.
Bright as it be,
I knew I'd be free,
And left...
For Rapture's door.

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Anyway, the plan is to write a bunch of music around this piece, record it myself (or perhaps bring in some friends if I can) and eventually mix the whole thing together. Most of it will probably be done over the summer, but it's a project I'm really looking forward to.

Thoughts? (on the project/lyrics/whatever)
 
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