Mortal Fantasy Football Kombat 2013

One other thing... if you have any epic pics that you want me to use for the weekly articles if your team is the headline, be sure to send them to me. It's no guarantee I'll actually use them, but if I do like them it will save me time on article day. :)


Whoa... have you guys seen the new "matchup preview" thing on the fantasy site? The thing actually computer-generated a generic matchup preview article about each of our fantasy games this week. This is insanely cool
 
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Obviously, I cannot question the fantasy expertise of our own commissioner. However, I would like him to make a convincing case as to why I should not vote against this trade, because frankly, it makes absolutely no sense to me...especially since one of the players involved in this trade is suspended...and how exactly is the Cardinals defense worth the Steelers defense and a suspended player?
 
The point of being able to vote against trades is to prevent heinous cheating through grossly imbalanced trades. I think any of us can see this trade is not that. If you think I'm nuts, you're entitled to that opinion, but I don't feel this is an instance that warrants voting it down. The rest of you can feel free to weigh in as well.

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What I'm questioning here is the exact value of the Cardinals defense. Is this not the same defense that squandered a 4-0 start last year?
 
One other thing... if you have any epic pics that you want me to use for the weekly articles if your team is the headline, be sure to send them to me. It's no guarantee I'll actually use them, but if I do like them it will save me time on article day. :)


Whoa... have you guys seen the new "matchup preview" thing on the fantasy site? The thing actually computer-generated a generic matchup preview article about each of our fantasy games this week. This is insanely cool


lololol so glad you suggested the pic idea, I was gonna actually take a pic especially for you because I know you would respond with something like 'so much wasted money', but, this just gives it so much more value.
 
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Coach RIP-ka is unimpressed with your lineup, Jade. Top to bottom you have question marks. BenJarvis Green-Ellis, the deteriorating law firm? Rob Glass-kowski? Steven Ridley, the man whom Belichek forgot about? Hell, Percy Harvin is on the PUP list to start the season, and Antonio Gates will be gimping his way onto the field by week 7. Your drafting is completely laughable. Of course, Aaron Rodgers, Tony Romo, and his favorite target Dez Bryant are my only concerns out of everyone on your team.

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So I sat devising plays all night, wondering what would be the best plan of attack, as taking out your quarterbacks are the only way to win this matchup. Unfortunately, you have chosen the San Francisco defense, so I can't take Rodgers out directly. And the Giants are a little sluggish defending the pass, sadly. But through the power of the internet, maybe my strategy will reach Tom Coughlin out there in New York.

ygCwiudl.jpg

Perfection. I don't think any quarterback alive could handle that pressure mixed with that zone/man mix. Be ready on Sunday, Jade.
 
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What I'm questioning here is the exact value of the Cardinals defense. Is this not the same defense that squandered a 4-0 start last year?

your logic involves oversimplification and backward thinking, trashman.

lololol so glad you suggested the pic idea, I was gonna actually take a pic especially for you because I know you would respond with something like 'so much wasted money', but, this just gives it so much more value.

When did I ever say anything about wasted money, Jade? I only recall talking about how much of a tragedy it was to see your beautiful self adorned in awful Cowboys gear...
 
your logic involves oversimplification and backward thinking, trashman.

Then explain to me what Hall of Famer Bill Parcells oversimplified and backward-thought when he said "You are what your record says you are"...

yR9iJxIl.jpg

Coach RIP-ka is unimpressed with your lineup, Jade. Top to bottom you have question marks. BenJarvis Green-Ellis, the deteriorating law firm? Rob Glass-kowski? Steven Ridley, the man whom Belichek forgot about? Hell, Percy Harvin is on the PUP list to start the season, and Antonio Gates will be gimping his way onto the field by week 7. Your drafting is completely laughable. Of course, Aaron Rodgers, Tony Romo, and his favorite target Dez Bryant are my only concerns out of everyone on your team.

INkSDD3l.jpg

So I sat devising plays all night, wondering what would be the best plan of attack, as taking out your quarterbacks are the only way to win this matchup. Unfortunately, you have chosen the San Francisco defense, so I can't take you out directly. But through the power of the internet, maybe my strategy will reach Jim Harbaugh out there in the Bay Area.

ygCwiudl.jpg

Perfection. I don't think any quarterback alive could handle that pressure mixed with that zone/man mix. Be ready on Sunday, Jade.

Very amusing. However, I should point out that George Halas NEVER traded his entire draft (and then some) in exchange for ONE PLAYER...and neither did Dave Wannstedt, for that matter...

Additionally, I think you forgot to point out that, with the exception of Hall of Famer Curtis Martin, New England is where running backs go to ruin their careers (where Ridley and Green-Ellis, who you dissed earlier, once played).
 
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Then explain to me what Hall of Famer Bill Parcells oversimplified and backward-thought when he said "You are what your record says you are"...

Totally agree with the Tuna in context. He wasn't talking about fantasy football. Fantasy is about individual stats, not team records. There are viable fantasy starters on bad teams every year. Even with defense, where we're drafting a whole unit, it's entirely possible for a bad team to have a good defense and totally suck because of the offense.
 


Coach Jockstraps had been working hard to think of the best way to defeat Brian and his mighty Hold Down the Forte, with Football God Romo in attendance for support.



It just seemed like every play left pockets open...there was no room for failure on opening day. No coach wants to taste defeat in the first game. Coach Jockstraps had to think long and hard about the best way to take down the Forte....



Coach Jockstraps stared in silence at Football God Romo, looking for an answer in how to avoid defeat. Then, the answer came, like a glorious beam of light in the dark sky, bringing hope to the world that there will be a better tomorrow.



LET'S DO THIS
 
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I want a divorce

demotivational-poster-3gvc8hn00e-EAGLES-TROPHY-CASE...jpg


Enough said...



Coach Jockstraps had been working hard to think of the best way to defeat Brian and his mighty Hold Down the Forte, with Football God Romo in attendance for support.



It just seemed like every play left pockets open...there was no room for failure on opening day. No coach wants to taste defeat in the first game. Coach Jockstraps had to think long and hard about the best way to take down the Forte....



Coach Jockstraps stared in silence at Football God Romo, looking for an answer in how to avoid defeat. Then, the answer came, like a glorious beam of light in the dark sky, bringing hope to the world that there will be a better tomorrow.



LET'S DO THIS

Jade, if I may make a fashion suggestion...

86 that stupid looking hat and get yourself a REAL cowboy hat! Something like this one

Stylish+Fedora+hat+%286%29.jpg


It worked for Tom Landry, it will work for you! REAL cowboys and cowgirls wear Fedoras!

And for Pete Rozelle's sake, DON'T SHOW YOUR HAND! That is Fantasy Football suicide!
 
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Lol you guys. This season is totally going to be epic.

Let's get this party started!!!

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Holy shit, that's a lot of Bronco points! In fact, that Manning point total is about 2 or 3 points shy of what I got out of Brett Favre in one game back in 2008 (I think that was his 6 TD game as a Jet)...of course, back then, passing TDs were worth 6 points.
 
Yung if you're saying you haven't seen the score yet I'd advise against looking

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