oh all right
"Welcome to the wonderful land of Oz. My name is Skyuss Valley and I will be your tour guide this lovely evening. And if you look to your left you'll see black nothingness because an old jackass gave us a flashlight with dead batteries. And to your right you'll see bushes, I think. And over-" "Sky please man, just please shut the hell up." Low says in a tired voice. I stop talking, that shtick was getting old anyway I guess. Plus who was in the mood to argue? "Sky hold up that gun like a goddam man! You never know what the devil may bring!" Oh yeah, I forgot NS was with us. So I answer back to my quarter master with "Yes sir! Like this?" I point the gun at him. My finger wasn't even on the trigger so I don't know why he acted like such an NS.
"Whadda fugg is wrong with you! Don't point that shit at me!" After not saying anything since we left Merlin's marvelous mansion, Tab finally says something. "Sky leave him alone. We've all had a rough ass day. My ass has been throbbing like theres a techno club inside." "Alright dude" I say with a small feeling of disappointment. I can hear NS whisper "I still don't understand why Sky gets to hold the gun" I stay quiet, but my mind goes back to simpler times. I spent a lot of my youth on a farm, unwillingly might I add. Seriously, you set one G.I Joe on fire and suddenly you're a 'social outcast'. But thats another story. On the farm I was taught how to use a gun, one just like this. At least I got something from that stranded hellhole.
"You guys I think I need to lie down. We've been walking for hours and this silly lil filly is tired." TaB groans as he holds his ass. "Wait you want to sleep here?" NS cries. Low finally brings some sarcasm of his own "Oh excuse us sir, your Egyptian sheeted bed is over there, next to that pile of bear shit." I laughed, which I hadn't done in a while. Feels good, man. I made my 'bed' next a smooth rock. Used my grey flannel as a pillow and tucked my arms into my white, well it used to be white, shirt. Low used his covered his head with his hood and laid in some grass. No telling what was going to crawl into his love-station2. NS lay tossing and turning east of me in some dirt, guess his king sized bed wasn't to his liking. TaB passed out instantly in the middle of the small moonlit dirt clearing. With no one to talk to I just looked up at the sky. Alone with my thoughts I start to wonder if I regret moving in with these animals.
3 dudes from the internet. None of us had ever met one another, we just became e-friends on some forum about a game that doesn't even come out anymore and decided to be bff's in real life. So we got a house in the middle of ****ing nowhere. I was really reluctant, but I gotta say, up until this point everything was pretty damn cool. I mean we all had jobs in the nearby town. Except NS, but he did all the housework like a champion so thats whatever. And with the exception of catching him twiddling his diddly & the constant arguments over food between him and Low, things were perfect. And I can't really say that crash landing in the ass end of nowhere is all that bad. I mean I'd probably be working another graveyard shift at Mizore's Crabshack right now. Its exciting at least. I determine that that is enough thinking for one day, and doze off.
Eyelids. Sometimes I don't even know what the hell they're for. I'm not sure what time it was but it felt like the sun was shining directly into my eyes. I open them and feel like they've been set on fire. "Aww f*ck, what time is it?" I ask squinting my eyes like I'm trying to blend in at China Town, not even sure if anyone was awake yet. Turns out Low was "I don't know, probably 9 or something. NS & TaB are still sleeping. Look I've been going through our supplies and, we're not doing so hot bro. I'd say we have about 5 Gatorades left, a pack of crackers and whatevers left in the medic case." This was not good news AT ALL "Are you serious? Well where the hell is it all going?" We both look over to NS' retarded ass as he lies sleeping in the dirt with his hand in his pants. Suddenly we hear the sound of leaves being crushed and the rustling of bushes. We ignore it for a second before we realize that we're the only ones awake. Then we look over and wouldn't ya know it? Its Smokey, the friendly neighborhood bear.