Official NFL Thread

Whatever do you mean? Miami's going to trade for Tebow now. All will be fine.

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Q: How do you keep a Miami Dolphin out of your back yard?
A: Put up a goal post!

Q: What do Billy Graham and the Miami Dolphins have in common?
A: Both get 70,000 people to stand up and shout "Jesus Christ!"

Q: What's the difference between the Miami Dolphins and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar!

Q: What do possums and the Miami Dolphins have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What's the safest place in Miami during a tornado?
A: Sun Life Stadium, because they never get touchdowns there!

Q: How do the Miami Dolphins count to 10?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q: Why was Joe Philbin upset when the Miami Dolphins playbook was stolen?
A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it!

Q: What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the 2012 NFL Playoffs?
A: The Miami Dolphins!

Q: How can you tell when the Miami Dolphins are going to run the football?
A: When the back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes!

Police, the National Guard, and the FBI were called out to Sun Life Stadium this week. Players on the field reported seeing a strange, white substance on the field that they had never seen before. Miami CSI took samples and determined that the substance did not come from anthrax, ricin, or cocaine. It was, instead, a Goal Line.

Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Owen!
Owen who?
Owen Ten!
 
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Gonna laugh my ass off if Tebow goes to Miami and they win it all while Manning and the Broncos don't even make the playoffs.
 
Saints season is over before it began....

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I hate to tell you this, but they asked for it.

And frankly, I don't think we've seen the league issue punishment of this magnitude since Hornung and Karras nearly 50 years ago*.

* In 1963, then-NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle suspended Packers RB Paul Hornung and Lions DT Alex Karras for the entire season for betting on NFL games. Both players were reinstated the next year.
 
I hate to tell you this, but they asked for it.

And frankly, I don't think we've seen the league issue punishment of this magnitude since Hornung and Karras nearly 50 years ago*.

* In 1963, then-NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle suspended Packers RB Paul Hornung and Lions DT Alex Karras for the entire season for betting on NFL games. Both players were reinstated the next year.

Every team has a bounty system to some extent
 
Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning and Tom by-gawd Brady have all restructured their contracts, so they could free up some cap space for their teams.

Your move, Drew Brees. You have already portrayed yourself as a money-hungry politician for the past two seasons (especially during the lock out). Lets see if you really love New Orleans and your team, or if you really are a politician who only cares about the money. Drew Brees is my favorite player of all-time, but his choices and behavior over the past two years has really disappointed me.

Its going to be a rough season for my Saints. I can only hope for the best, and hope that the curse doesn't return.
 
Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning and Tom by-gawd Brady have all restructured their contracts, so they could free up some cap space for their teams.

Your move, Drew Brees. You have already portrayed yourself as a money-hungry politician for the past two seasons (especially during the lock out). Lets see if you really love New Orleans and your team, or if you really are a politician who only cares about the money. Drew Brees is my favorite player of all-time, but his choices and behavior over the past two years has really disappointed me.

Its going to be a rough season for my Saints. I can only hope for the best, and hope that the curse doesn't return.

So you backed management during the lockout? I heard there was a derogatory term for that! I'm trying to remember what it was!

Every team has a bounty system to some extent

"Oh, everybody does it!" Gee, how many times have we heard THAT excuse? I heard it when New England got busted in that taping scandal, I heard it during last year's string of college football scandals, I heard it for YEARS when baseball players were pumping themselves with steroids, and I even heard it when Pacman Jones instigated a shooting at that Vegas strip club! I'm sick of hearing it! Are you going to defend Pete Rose betting on baseball or Shoeless Joe Jackson throwing games with that excuse?
 
"Oh, everybody does it!" Gee, how many times have we heard THAT excuse? I heard it when New England got busted in that taping scandal, I heard it during last year's string of college football scandals, I heard it for YEARS when baseball players were pumping themselves with steroids, and I even heard it when Pacman Jones instigated a shooting at that Vegas strip club! I'm sick of hearing it! Are you going to defend Pete Rose betting on baseball or Shoeless Joe Jackson throwing games with that excuse?

First of all

We didn't cheat like the patriots, We didn't Gamble like Pete Rose, and none of our players did steroids.

We didn't break any rules like the other people you mentioned did. So don't try to put me in some category.

You can't sit here and tell me that coaches don't encourage knocking the shit outta someone, or taking someone out the game...
 
Alrighty then, so the schedule was released today...

My Texans have a whopping FIVE nationally televised games. Those of you still unacquainted with them will learn much this season.
 
The Steelers have five nationally televised games, too.

Maybe you'll get to see them break out these beauties..

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Yea u guys finally can be good without payton manning raping you guys since 2002....

More of this stupid crap Marshall? We played him twice a year. Out of sixteen games. Him beating us twice was only a small part of our being bad, and if we're good now, not playing him isn't that big a part of why we're now good. Use some logic, my friend.
 
Yea but payton was in ya'lls division and they won it every year

And with the AFC like it was in the past, you guys wild card hopes were impossible

Like i said, Ya'll can finally win without payton manning in your division
 
Yeah, but the reason we weren't winning the division wasn't because of Peyton. It was because we sucked. We'd be winning it now even if Peyton were there.

I know there will be no way to prove that last statement empirically, of course. But if you analyze the stats honestly, I don't think you can make the claim that last year's Colts with a healthy Manning would have won more games than last year's Texans.
 
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