HOOPER
For years in this industry whenever an
African-American character - hero or
villain - was introduced usually by
white artists and writers - they got
slapped with racist names that singled
them out as negroes: Black Panther,
Black Lightning, Black Goliath, Black
Mantra, Black Talon, Black Spider,
Black Hand, Black Falcon, Black Cat..
VOICE FROM CROWD
She's white.
HOOPER
She is?
(beat)
Well bust this - regardless.
Were at a panel discussion. The room is full. Five
creators sit at a long table, their names on placards in
front of them.
(One of them is a very striking Girl.) The banner behind
them reads WORDS UP - MINORITY VOICES IN COMICS.
HOOPER
(holds up comic)
Now my book, White-Hating Coon,
doesnt have any of that bullshit. The
heros name is Maleekwa, and hes a
descendant of the black tribe that
established the first society on the
planet, while all you European mother
fuckers were still hiding in caves and
shit, all terrified of the sun. Hes a
strong role model that a young black
reader can look up to, Cause Im here
to tell you - the chickens are comin
home to roost, yall: the black mans
no longer gonna play the minstrel in
the medium of comics and Sci-
Fi/Fantasy! Were keeping it real,
and were gonna get respect -
by any means necessary!
During the speech, Holden and Banky enter and sit up
front.
HOLDEN
(calling out)
Bullshit! Lando Calrissian was a
black man, and he got to fly the
Millennium Falcon!
Hooper whips his head around, looking for the source of
the comment
HOOPER
Who said that?!?
HOLDEN
(standing)
I did! Lando Calrissian is a positive
black role model in the realm of
Science Fiction/Fantasy.
HOOPER
Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom
nigger! Always some white boy gotta
invoke the holy trilogy! Bust this -
those movies are about how the white
man keeps the brother man down - even
in a galaxy far, far away. Check
this shit. You got cracker farm-boy
Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy -
blond hair, blue eyes.
And then youve got Darth
Vader: the blackest brother in the
galaxy. Nubian God.
BANKY
Whats a Nubian?
HOOPER
Shut the fuck up! Now Vader, hes a
spiritual brother, with the force and
all that shit. Then this cracker
Skywalker gets his hands on a light-
saber, and the boy decides hes
gonna run the fucking universe - gets
a whole Klan of whites together, and
theyre gonna bust up Vaders hood
the Death Star. Now what the fuck do
you call that!
BANKY
Intergalactic Civil War!
HOOPER
Gentrification. Theyre gonna drive
our the black element, to make the
galaxy quote, unquote safe for white
folks.
HOLDEN
But Vader turns, out to be Lukes
father. And in Jedi, they become
friends.
HOOPER
Dont make me bust a cap in your ass,
yo! Jedis the most insulting
installment, because Vaders
beautiful, black visage is
sullied when he pulls off his mask to
reveal a feeble, crusty white man!
Theyre trying to tell us that deep
inside, we all want to be white!