Nasty_Freak
Well-known member
I'm sorry but I'm just trying to hold all my emotions inside and pretend everything is alright in front of my co-workers, family, and friends. So far I'm doing well with my acting but it hurts. The one person I talk to can't really do much. Guys who I try to make them appreciate me actually seem to hide from me. I feel so much resentment right now. I don't care if no one responds to this but I have to let it out somewhere. A diary will not help. Saying it here and anonymously away from people who actually know me at least makes some individuals aware that the way how I feel actually exists even if it's just me. That when one guy can't have what he wants, he pretends he's ok with it but in reality he isn't and he wants to do something about it. This guy (me) has been working too hard and has been saying so any prayers yet he does not get what he truly desires. He has enough money to buy what he needs but he never got what he preferred most. I have lowered my standards enough when it comes to picking guys but I'M NOT HAPPY so it's basically useless to lower my standards when it comes toy sex life. Do keep in mind that this is about me and not "Nasty Freak". Me actually being the sweet, caring guy who had done his best to get the appreciation of the people he desires and to get out of his way and do favors for those other guys yet those individuals that he desires either avoid him, use him, are friends with him but are straight or taken, or some other stupid excuse not to at least be a friend with benefit if not a boyfriend. I believe I've mentioned situations like these before but this has not been resolved yet. The type of guys I want aren't usually in the club I go to. San Francisco is too far and costs too much money, gas, and time (travel time) so I can't really go there. Plus, many guys there are very arrogant and are drug addicts. FML!
Oh, and over my dead body, will I ever have sex nor make out with someone I don't like again!!! NO MORE PRETENDING TO WANT SOMEONE I DON'T WANT. I NEED TO GET WHAT I WANT!!!
Oh, and over my dead body, will I ever have sex nor make out with someone I don't like again!!! NO MORE PRETENDING TO WANT SOMEONE I DON'T WANT. I NEED TO GET WHAT I WANT!!!
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