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Thread: Rebuilding Onaga

  1. #1
    Robot Rock back,back,back,low punch's Avatar
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    Rebuilding Onaga

    Sup dudebros.

    Use this song to read it please, though I may change it. Not sure how well it fits.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuQMo...eature=related







    Onagaru Fuzen

    Mere mention of this name once brought the greatest of men to their knees, brought a great sense of pride to all who respected it. Now it is a name of dishonor, the name of a fabled monster created by my 'successor'.


    I was once the proud emperor of the most prestigious realm in existence, Outworld. For centuries the rolling hills of majestic green and the mountains that bellowed with a millennium of power were held under my control. I was revered as a god and I held myself as such. My kingdom was the envy of rulers everywhere. But as is the case of all great rulers, I had my date with an assassin.


    He was the one I so foolishly trusted the most. The one I brought up from the tattered cloth I found him in. It was in my false sense of security that I was betrayed. The moment the poison touched my lips, I cursed the name Jezelium Kahn, as he stared into my dying eyes.


    He had been dwelling in that which I had forbid since my reign began. Black Magic. The Elder Gods show me Jezelium transform my beautiful people into wretched abominations, my lush forests into desecrated death traps, made the mention of my name punishable by death and my family into his personal slaves.


    I watch helplessly as my queen cries out for me, as if expecting me to appear in a grand chariot to whisk her away from her abuser. I screamed loudly, feebly swung my arms at the intangible image of my empire crumbling. I pleaded with the Elders, offered them anything to save, aid or even kill my family to end their suffering. I was told that divine intervention was not the favorable choice of 'The Gods'.


    Gods, who crowned these worthless beings with such a title? They are regarded so fondly when they are nothing more but spectators to the realms. Oglers who possess as much power as the wenches that fed me grapes. It was then I knew that matters must be put into the hands of a true ruler. I gained mastery of the very arts that sought the destruction of my empire. Tapped into a potential I never knew I had. Those fools, so obsessed with mortal affairs that they were completely oblivious to their own downfall.


    I approached the divine imposters and, to their surprise, challenged each one to mortal combat. I was wrong in my assumption that these gods possessed that same amount of power as my servants. My wenches would have posed a more worthy challenge. Struck each one down from their altars and shattered their frail bodies. I absorbed their souls and felt a power that no mere man should ever hold. However I was no longer a man, I was a god. The god.


    My first task as Elder was to aid the fight against this tyrant, this treacherous swine. I create a portal and prepare myself for one final battle with the man who took everything from me. I step towards my creation and am knocked away from it. No, not knocked away, pulled from. Something keeps me here, locks me away as if to punish me for wanting justice.


    My quest for revenge has lead me to a most unfortunate end. I know not what binds me, but I am as powerless as the ones I have slain. I had so much power, with no way to use it. So from my celestial prison I watch my family suffer, even after all these years I watch them suffer. I watch everything. I hear everything, these prayers, unending pleads of greed. Begging for the pettiest things while I watch others starve in the wastelands I once called home. These mortals, they make me sick. Outworlders, now mutated cannibals and monstrous creatures litter my land under the rule of Shao Kahn. Netherrealm filled with the most bitter scum I have ever laid eyes upon. Chaosrealm, a world I spend the least amount of time watching. Seido, the home to the most undeserving arrogant lowlifes. Earthrealm is no better. Filled with its worship of false gods and sense that it is better than all others, I despise this one the greatest.


    I grow tired of these mortals and their never ending aspirations of power, my power. I have seen into the future and am not surprised to see that their greed is going to be the destruction of everything. Though it is too late to save what I once loved, I can still prevent myself from losing anything else. I am going to become one with all. Every conscious thought that was ever had, every experience that was ever yearned for I will possess.


    The wheels of this most glorious plan are already in turn. You have come so far, come further Shujinko, place the final Kamidogou on the altar and bring an end to this charade. Bring an end to my suffering, and rest my child.





    Not really a rebuilding, but just Onaga's perspective on the events of Deception.
    Its really short
    Tell me whatchya honestly think
    Last edited by back,back,back,low punch; 05-24-2012 at 06:13 PM.
    My word is law

  2. #2
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    I honestly stopped reading at dudebros. Will read tomorrow.

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    Emperor of Outworld iViTal's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    I really liked it.

    I love how all of your rebuilding of each character is original and unique and that's something hard to find in Fan Fics. I really can't wait to see what you can do with Frost


    "Time to earn the Mask"

  4. #4
    Robot Rock back,back,back,low punch's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    D'aww, thank you for the kind words Vital
    My word is law

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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    I do say jolly good show my man

    Shadaloo Force

  6. #6
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    Thhhank you Yung.
    Makin' me happy.
    My word is law

  7. #7
    Robot Rock back,back,back,low punch's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    Changed the song to something I feel is more fitting.
    My word is law

  8. #8
    Elder God Shirayuki Mizore's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    I'll never be able to look at Onaga the same way again.

  9. #9
    Lin Kuei Assassin Kzaoo's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    DAT ABILITY TO CREATE AND STICK TO A PERSONALITY OF A CHARACTER IN A GODLIKE WAY mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  10. #10
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    This is pretty awesome man, this is how I envisioned Onaga's thoughts and motives as well. I sometimes wonder if he is the re-incarnation of the One Being or perhaps his physical form.

  11. #11
    Emperor of Outworld Metal Overlord's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    Real shit, Low, this is some of the best fanfic I've ever read. I just love that you made this from Onaga's perspective. I've always wanted to see what motivated Onaga, what differentiates him from the other major MK villains, and I feel like this does justice to perhaps the most underrated villain in MK history

  12. #12
    Robot Rock back,back,back,low punch's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    Damn son, thank you Metal.
    I've always liked the idea that Onaga wasn't really that much of a bad guy, he just wanted his realm back.
    My word is law

  13. #13
    Emperor of Outworld Metal Overlord's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    I still want you to make one for Reiko

  14. #14
    Robot Rock back,back,back,low punch's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    Quote Originally Posted by Metal Overlord View Post
    I still want you to make one for Reiko
    Since your words were so kind, por supuesto.
    Would you like to help me?
    My word is law

  15. #15
    Emperor of Outworld Metal Overlord's Avatar
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    Re: Rebuilding Onaga

    I'm not sure what I could really do to help, sorry

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