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Thread: Rate the last Movie you saw.

  1. #541
    Hollywood Superstar Xenon's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    I just came back from seeing Alien: Covenant. Huge Alien and Aliens fan, came to the cinema with an erect penis and huge traps. Left with: a poster that got slightly damaged on the edges due to me not wanting to drive and it started to rain; a completely flaccid penis and no traps.

    4/10. It tried to mix Alien, Aliens and Prometheus and failed on all fronts. Way too much was spoiled through the trailers. Wasn't scary at all, answered no questions, CGI was pretty poor, pacing was too fast, cast was questionable, no coherent story, agenda pushing and more problems which I will describe in spoilers if you want to read it.

    Spoiler:
    The movie starts with David having an intellectual conversation with younger Weyland, who gets pissed at David for being too snarky with his questions. Then it switches to Walter walking around the Covenant, which is flying to some planet that they _THINK_ is worth colonizing. He is chatting with MUTHUR and making sure everything is fine. Checks on the crew. MUTHUR instructs that it's time for the Covenant to be recharged, so Walter deploys something resembling huge solar solar panels to do so.

    Then out of the sudden, an EMP/Solar Emission/Blast happens, which knocks out most of the power, damages the ship, and kills some of the colonists in stasis, while forcing some of the crew to wake up. Which in turn leads to James Franco making his debut as the ship's Captain. His role was on fire, literally. All he does for 10 seconds screen time is getting alight in his cryopod because it jammed and for some reason stared to burn. Not one word was uttered. Daniels was his wife, so she tried to portray as if she was hurt because she saw her husband die, but I just didn't feel it. Felt fake.

    Now, regarding that EMP and why I used "all of the sudden". Later on, the new Captain who I forgot his name, points out that Walter and MUTHUR needs to do "code review" to make sure this doesn't happen again, as Covenant will need 6 more recharges during the entire trip. Walter's excuse? "It's random, cannot be predicted!". These people learned how to scan ENTIRE galaxies for suitable planets, including detailed data, traverse in deep space without issues, build androids and so much more, yet they cannot foresee an EMP wave, let alone design ships to withstand it?? I'll go back to the scanning part as well later on.

    So, new Captain takes over, who is "a man of faith; but believes in science!", he tells people to stop grieving and get to work in order to get the ship fully functional. Nobody likes him, but proceed with his orders, only to later on stop working to send Franco's grave flying into deep space ala Alien 1 with Kane, only this time alcohol was involved. Asshole Captain watches this happening on camera, which by the way for some reason didn't get noticed by the crew, and the way the cameras work as demonstrated later on, is that you can actually see the person on the screen who's watching you. Asshole Captain proceeds to get pissed with crew disobeying him; wife comes in to calm him down; people get back to work.

    Tennessee fixes the damaged solar panels, as he goes back to the ship, a transmission starts playing in his helm visor. Instantly when this happened, I thought: "why did it play in his helm, but not on the ship?? Surely the ship has much stronger radio/radar capabilities." He comes back, crews plays it back, Tennessee recognizes the song, they see it's obviously a woman singing in, decide to check it out. Walter points out that geographical data is available as well, and triangulates it to Paradise. This is where the scanning kicks back in as promised, because Daniels is the one who brings it up. She asks how is it possible for such a perfect world according to data to be left out from their scanners, when they've spent YEARS looking for a planet to colonize? Maybe high alien tech as we seen in Prometheus? Answer: Ridley Scott went senile. No, it wasn't answered in the movie, and "Engineers" were basically cavemen.

    Captain decides it's about time to say "fck it, I don't wanna go back to cryo for 7 more years! I'm the Captain!", decides to change course, nobody but Daniels protests, they have their little private hissy fit, and fly there anyways. A team of few Colonial Marines, including 2 gays (I will get back to this later on during the "agenda pushing" section because yes, it did happen), Captain, Daniels, Walter and some other people who don't really matter get into the Lander, and fly to check Paradise out. Unfortunately this is where the movie takes a sharp nose dive.

    They enter the atmosphere, the usual "comms with main ship lost due to..." shtick happens, they land, and go around searching for the beacon signal while "having fun" as instructed by one of the pilots. At this point I also want to mention that Prometheus' landscape >>>> A:C landscape shots. They walk around, encounter "human vegetation" (wheat), no sound from animals...just watch the trailers because nothing is different from that point onwards.

    Captain's wife and some security guy decide they're gonna stay behind for some reason I couldn't comprehend, the rest moved forward. She started taking samples; guy went to take a piss while smoking a joint. He stands on a bunch of mutated spores, and at first didn't notice the airborne virus which was actually pretty believable. Then, he puffed out a ring of smoke, which in turn showed the virus flying RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FCKING FACE. No reaction from him, virus started to take its concentrated shape as he watched on, entered his ear and started to mutate, he just went on like nothing happened.

    Meanwhile, the group found the Juggernaut ship from Prometheus, and entered it with no precautions whatsoever. As they started to go deeper into its hull, one of the 2 gays, who I might add are supposed to be Colonial Marines on a colonization mission, noticed some of the spores on the rocky floor that damaged the hull as the ship crash landed. What do you think his first instinct was? He gets on his knees, disturbs the spores, and fcking SNORTS the virus in through his nose!!! So that makes two infected dumbasses. Funnily enough, before the movie began, a trailer played for War for the planet of the apes. I'd place humans from A:C way below Apes from that movie for their competence/IQ.

    They find Shaw's dog tags, Walter is apparently aware what happened to Prometheus on LV-226, and then play the distress beacon. No grandiose shots were made from the Juggernaught's flight deck like in previous movies, and the crew seemed rather disinterested in this alien craft. Then both of the infected dumbasses started to act up, and all of 2 groups decided to go back to the lander.

    The backburster and neckburster scenes weren't scary at all. If you're expecting something along the lines of Alien or Aliens, prepare to be disappointed. CGI was sloppy, sound work was bad, it happened too quick and for some reason both the baby Neomoprh and Xenomorph were almost adult-like. Nothing like in the previous movies, and they turned grown adults in a ridiculous quick time frame.

    I'll try to speed it up because at this point the movie switches into its bullshit gear, and just churns out random crap as fast as possible. Basically, Colonial Marines cannot hit the wide side of a barn, because there was a not-yet-adult Neomoprh adult in the Wheat field right after the chestburster/neckburster happened and the Lander exploded due to a female dumbass. The Neomorphs were running in a straight line, and the CM's with their futuristic weaponry still proved absolutely useless, outnumbering the Neomprhs 7:1 while they caused a few human casualties. This leads to the introduction to David who saves their incompetent asses with a...flare?...

    They run into the ex-Engineer Citadel, where David "kind of" explains what happened which actually was a lie as shown later on. At this point I want to once again embolden the fact that these "Engineers" are a bunch of tribesmen; their gate to the citadel had such wide spaces between the bars that Scorpion from MKX could easily fit through them. And he makes jacked Engineers from Prometheus look like they never picked up a barbell.

    David also seemed to have a hardon for Walter. Group tries to establish comms with Covenant, with timefiller scenes in between, while David tries to basically persuade Walter that all humans are bad and that Walter should join him. Where is Xenomorph in all of this, what was the role of Engineers? Answer: Ridley Scott went senile. No, none of this was explained in the movie.

    A now adult Neomoprh (one of them, the other ran away and never appeared ever since) sneaks into the Citadel, and hunts down a woman who was washing up and taking care of her wounds. It rips her head off, and starts eating her flesh. David then comes in, and starts conversing with the Neomoprh. Captain Faith then shoots the Neomoprh down (that's right; ONE guy who's not even a CM) after seeing that head floating in the puddle, David gets angry but agrees to show him what's really going on. Lures into his experiment chamber, then the egg chamber, and tricks Captain Faith to stick his head inside the egg. After that a Protomoprh is born, which by the way looked almost adult and the chestburster scene happened way too fast. It appeared to have a hardon for David as well. Where did the eggs come from? Answer: Ridley Scott went senile. He tried to hint that it was through David messing about with Shaw, but completely goes against the Xeno's life cycle that was set to stone in Aliens.

    At this point there is no point in going further in such detail. David threatens to do the same thing to Daniels as he did to Shaw. David makes out with Daniels (???). David and Walter make out (the agenda push at this point is obvious, David even asks if Walter is dreaming of him when he sleeps), then have a fist fight, and even though Walter is an upgraded model as he points out, he still gets killed off by David, who in turn pretends to be Walter. Tennessee arrives to pick up the remaining group, Protomoprh attacks, gets crushed by a crane. While on Covenant, another Protomoprh spawns outta someone's ass because why not, kills a few people, gets owned by a giant forklift. Movie ends with David barfing out two extra Xeno embryos and store it with the human embryos.

    In conclusion: Movie has 2 Neomoprhs, one is killed, one ran away. It also has two Protomorphs, both are always shown in their shitty CGI form and killed off with moderate ease. Yes, David actually called them "perfect organisms". Yes, Ridley Scott went senile again, because in his own words he didn't like how Xenos were treated like garbage via the latter films like AvP. And he does exactly that. All the firefight/fights with Xenos felt like they were ripped straight from AvP movies, and in the biggest irony ever the Xenos became the biggest jokes in Ridley's own movie.

    It just felt like Ridley tried to "scare the shit" out of people like with Alien (even the OST score was almost a direct copy of it), while having action of Aliens/AvP, while having the cinematography and lore of Prometheus. None of this came together at any point of the movie. Some people say this is better than Prometheus, I disagree.

    By the way, you might ask, where did the 2nd Protomoprh come from? I have no idea, that scene was ridiculously contrived. The poster that has Protomorphs battling with Engineers? That didn't happen in the movie either. Review's over.
    Last edited by Xenon; 05-12-2017 at 05:27 PM.

  2. #542
    Shaolin Monk Destroyer_13's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Quote Originally Posted by Xenon View Post
    I just came back from seeing Alien: Covenant. Huge Alien and Aliens fan, came to the cinema with an erect penis and huge traps. Left with: a poster that got slightly damaged on the edges due to me not wanting to drive and it started to rain; a completely flaccid penis and no traps.

    4/10. It tried to mix Alien, Aliens and Prometheus and failed on all fronts. Way too much was spoiled through the trailers. Wasn't scary at all, answered no questions, CGI was pretty poor, pacing was too fast, cast was questionable, no coherent story, agenda pushing and more problems which I will describe in spoilers if you want to read it.

    Spoiler:
    The movie starts with David having an intellectual conversation with younger Weyland, who gets pissed at David for being too snarky with his questions. Then it switches to Walter walking around the Covenant, which is flying to some planet that they _THINK_ is worth colonizing. He is chatting with MUTHUR and making sure everything is fine. Checks on the crew. MUTHUR instructs that it's time for the Covenant to be recharged, so Walter deploys something resembling huge solar solar panels to do so.

    Then out of the sudden, an EMP/Solar Emission/Blast happens, which knocks out most of the power, damages the ship, and kills some of the colonists in stasis, while forcing some of the crew to wake up. Which in turn leads to James Franco making his debut as the ship's Captain. His role was on fire, literally. All he does for 10 seconds screen time is getting alight in his cryopod because it jammed and for some reason stared to burn. Not one word was uttered. Daniels was his wife, so she tried to portray as if she was hurt because she saw her husband die, but I just didn't feel it. Felt fake.

    Now, regarding that EMP and why I used "all of the sudden". Later on, the new Captain who I forgot his name, points out that Walter and MUTHUR needs to do "code review" to make sure this doesn't happen again, as Covenant will need 6 more recharges during the entire trip. Walter's excuse? "It's random, cannot be predicted!". These people learned how to scan ENTIRE galaxies for suitable planets, including detailed data, traverse in deep space without issues, build androids and so much more, yet they cannot foresee an EMP wave, let alone design ships to withstand it?? I'll go back to the scanning part as well later on.

    So, new Captain takes over, who is "a man of faith; but believes in science!", he tells people to stop grieving and get to work in order to get the ship fully functional. Nobody likes him, but proceed with his orders, only to later on stop working to send Franco's grave flying into deep space ala Alien 1 with Kane, only this time alcohol was involved. Asshole Captain watches this happening on camera, which by the way for some reason didn't get noticed by the crew, and the way the cameras work as demonstrated later on, is that you can actually see the person on the screen who's watching you. Asshole Captain proceeds to get pissed with crew disobeying him; wife comes in to calm him down; people get back to work.

    Tennessee fixes the damaged solar panels, as he goes back to the ship, a transmission starts playing in his helm visor. Instantly when this happened, I thought: "why did it play in his helm, but not on the ship?? Surely the ship has much stronger radio/radar capabilities." He comes back, crews plays it back, Tennessee recognizes the song, they see it's obviously a woman singing in, decide to check it out. Walter points out that geographical data is available as well, and triangulates it to Paradise. This is where the scanning kicks back in as promised, because Daniels is the one who brings it up. She asks how is it possible for such a perfect world according to data to be left out from their scanners, when they've spent YEARS looking for a planet to colonize? Maybe high alien tech as we seen in Prometheus? Answer: Ridley Scott went senile. No, it wasn't answered in the movie, and "Engineers" were basically cavemen.

    Captain decides it's about time to say "fck it, I don't wanna go back to cryo for 7 more years! I'm the Captain!", decides to change course, nobody but Daniels protests, they have their little private hissy fit, and fly there anyways. A team of few Colonial Marines, including 2 gays (I will get back to this later on during the "agenda pushing" section because yes, it did happen), Captain, Daniels, Walter and some other people who don't really matter get into the Lander, and fly to check Paradise out. Unfortunately this is where the movie takes a sharp nose dive.

    They enter the atmosphere, the usual "comms with main ship lost due to..." shtick happens, they land, and go around searching for the beacon signal while "having fun" as instructed by one of the pilots. At this point I also want to mention that Prometheus' landscape >>>> A:C landscape shots. They walk around, encounter "human vegetation" (wheat), no sound from animals...just watch the trailers because nothing is different from that point onwards.

    Captain's wife and some security guy decide they're gonna stay behind for some reason I couldn't comprehend, the rest moved forward. She started taking samples; guy went to take a piss while smoking a joint. He stands on a bunch of mutated spores, and at first didn't notice the airborne virus which was actually pretty believable. Then, he puffed out a ring of smoke, which in turn showed the virus flying RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FCKING FACE. No reaction from him, virus started to take its concentrated shape as he watched on, entered his ear and started to mutate, he just went on like nothing happened.

    Meanwhile, the group found the Juggernaut ship from Prometheus, and entered it with no precautions whatsoever. As they started to go deeper into its hull, one of the 2 gays, who I might add are supposed to be Colonial Marines on a colonization mission, noticed some of the spores on the rocky floor that damaged the hull as the ship crash landed. What do you think his first instinct was? He gets on his knees, disturbs the spores, and fcking SNORTS the virus in through his nose!!! So that makes two infected dumbasses. Funnily enough, before the movie began, a trailer played for War for the planet of the apes. I'd place humans from A:C way below Apes from that movie for their competence/IQ.

    They find Shaw's dog tags, Walter is apparently aware what happened to Prometheus on LV-226, and then play the distress beacon. No grandiose shots were made from the Juggernaught's flight deck like in previous movies, and the crew seemed rather disinterested in this alien craft. Then both of the infected dumbasses started to act up, and all of 2 groups decided to go back to the lander.

    The backburster and neckburster scenes weren't scary at all. If you're expecting something along the lines of Alien or Aliens, prepare to be disappointed. CGI was sloppy, sound work was bad, it happened too quick and for some reason both the baby Neomoprh and Xenomorph were almost adult-like. Nothing like in the previous movies, and they turned grown adults in a ridiculous quick time frame.

    I'll try to speed it up because at this point the movie switches into its bullshit gear, and just churns out random crap as fast as possible. Basically, Colonial Marines cannot hit the wide side of a barn, because there was a not-yet-adult Neomoprh adult in the Wheat field right after the chestburster/neckburster happened and the Lander exploded due to a female dumbass. The Neomorphs were running in a straight line, and the CM's with their futuristic weaponry still proved absolutely useless, outnumbering the Neomprhs 7:1 while they caused a few human casualties. This leads to the introduction to David who saves their incompetent asses with a...flare?...

    They run into the ex-Engineer Citadel, where David "kind of" explains what happened which actually was a lie as shown later on. At this point I want to once again embolden the fact that these "Engineers" are a bunch of tribesmen; their gate to the citadel had such wide spaces between the bars that Scorpion from MKX could easily fit through them. And he makes jacked Engineers from Prometheus look like they never picked up a barbell.

    David also seemed to have a hardon for Walter. Group tries to establish comms with Covenant, with timefiller scenes in between, while David tries to basically persuade Walter that all humans are bad and that Walter should join him. Where is Xenomorph in all of this, what was the role of Engineers? Answer: Ridley Scott went senile. No, none of this was explained in the movie.

    A now adult Neomoprh (one of them, the other ran away and never appeared ever since) sneaks into the Citadel, and hunts down a woman who was washing up and taking care of her wounds. It rips her head off, and starts eating her flesh. David then comes in, and starts conversing with the Neomoprh. Captain Faith then shoots the Neomoprh down (that's right; ONE guy who's not even a CM) after seeing that head floating in the puddle, David gets angry but agrees to show him what's really going on. Lures into his experiment chamber, then the egg chamber, and tricks Captain Faith to stick his head inside the egg. After that a Protomoprh is born, which by the way looked almost adult and the chestburster scene happened way too fast. It appeared to have a hardon for David as well. Where did the eggs come from? Answer: Ridley Scott went senile. He tried to hint that it was through David messing about with Shaw, but completely goes against the Xeno's life cycle that was set to stone in Aliens.

    At this point there is no point in going further in such detail. David threatens to do the same thing to Daniels as he did to Shaw. David makes out with Daniels (???). David and Walter make out (the agenda push at this point is obvious, David even asks if Walter is dreaming of him when he sleeps), then have a fist fight, and even though Walter is an upgraded model as he points out, he still gets killed off by David, who in turn pretends to be Walter. Tennessee arrives to pick up the remaining group, Protomoprh attacks, gets crushed by a crane. While on Covenant, another Protomoprh spawns outta someone's ass because why not, kills a few people, gets owned by a giant forklift. Movie ends with David barfing out two extra Xeno embryos and store it with the human embryos.

    In conclusion: Movie has 2 Neomoprhs, one is killed, one ran away. It also has two Protomorphs, both are always shown in their shitty CGI form and killed off with moderate ease. Yes, David actually called them "perfect organisms". Yes, Ridley Scott went senile again, because in his own words he didn't like how Xenos were treated like garbage via the latter films like AvP. And he does exactly that. All the firefight/fights with Xenos felt like they were ripped straight from AvP movies, and in the biggest irony ever the Xenos became the biggest jokes in Ridley's own movie.

    It just felt like Ridley tried to "scare the shit" out of people like with Alien (even the OST score was almost a direct copy of it), while having action of Aliens/AvP, while having the cinematography and lore of Prometheus. None of this came together at any point of the movie. Some people say this is better than Prometheus, I disagree.

    By the way, you might ask, where did the 2nd Protomoprh come from? I have no idea, that scene was ridiculously contrived. The poster that has Protomorphs battling with Engineers? That didn't happen in the movie either. Review's over.
    how did you see that movie? its not in theatres until May 19th.

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. #543
    Hollywood Superstar Xenon's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Quote Originally Posted by Destroyer_13 View Post
    how did you see that movie? its not in theatres until May 19th.
    It was screened here 2 days ago...Different release dates.

  4. #544
    Emperor of Outworld Nasty_Freak's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Fame 8/10

    It shows me the reality of how hard it is to become a star.

  5. #545
    New Kombatant Abhishek Gangulee's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    The Ninth Gate (Roman Polanski) - an overt film exploring Satanism allure through the eyes of an unscrupulous book-dealer (Johnny Depp) who quests for a mythical book supposedly written by the Devil and encounters a mysterious and attractive young woman who may be the Biblical harlot of Babylon.

    This film is clever and very unusual, and I give it 9/10 (even though I'm Catholic!), because it offers an interesting perspective on ethics disarray, which is why I compare it to the lifestyle-frank film Girl 6.


    girl6.jpg

  6. #546
    Tarkatan Warrior subzero ravenwood's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Sing: 3 of 5
    assassins creed: 2 of 5
    la la land: 4 of 5
    muana: 3 of 5

  7. #547
    Elder God Commander's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Wonder Woman: 9 /10
    It was one of the better DC movies I had seen since TDK.

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  9. #548
    Shaolin Monk Destroyer_13's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Quote Originally Posted by Commander View Post
    Wonder Woman: 9 /10
    It was one of the better DC movies I had seen since TDK.
    I saw it last night. It was pretty damn good. I'll give Wonder Woman an 8.5

    I'm really liking these new DCU movies. I liked Man of Steel and really liked Batman vs Superman and I thought Suicide Squad was ok. I dont know what all the hate is over. but get ready for it. the haters will pick every second of the movie apart.
    Last edited by Destroyer_13; 06-02-2017 at 09:02 AM.

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  11. #549
    Elder God Commander's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    Quote Originally Posted by Destroyer_13 View Post
    I saw it last night. It was pretty damn good.
    I did too, and I agree.
    It was far better than I thought it would be, considering that Snyder was involved with it.

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  13. #550
    Shaolin Monk kadell's Avatar
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    Re: Rate the last Movie you saw.

    I watched Wonder Woman today and enjoyed the freak outta that movie! Personally, I'd give it a 10/10 tbh, but then again I'm still debating if I find it to be better than Winter Soldier. You could tell which areas had Snyder's influence (the action sequences and imagery posing shots), but after watching this movie I now see why people hated Batman V Superman & Somewhat disliked Man of Steel. There's no way I can seriously go back and watch those movies feeling the way I felt about them prior to watching this. It should be fairly easier for DC Comic properties to have great movies than Marvel (who'd usually have to rely on Spider-Man and the X-Men back in the day). If they can keep up the consistency shown in Wonder Woman with their other movies, they I can see a very bright future in the DCEU.

    I'm mainly looking forward to Aquaman though because that's the director who's gonna be working on the Mortal Kombat movie, and I need to know the quality of the work he may potentially produce.

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