Do you guys hate your job? Well at least your job is not like the jobs of these MK characters. Just random interactions around MK reflecting what the MK peeps do in their work environment. (Lin Kuei, Special Forces, Black Dragon, etc). These interactions will not specifically MK2011 but other games as well; do not worry, I’ll label them. Anyway, first stop MK9!
Another Day on the Job
Another tournament and Kitana was getting sick of it. Nine of these tournaments and it was the same result; somebody would step up and get absolutely destroyed by Goro. Of course, Kitana did not understand why she would have to attend these damn things anyway. Shang Tsung was completely capable of defending himself, old man her ass. However, Kitana held her tongue so she would not upset Father, but by the Elder Gods, it was hard. The people she worked with, the revealing garment she had to wear, the constant bloodshed she had to watch. To put it simply, Kitana hated her job. At least she had Jade, her loyal servant and friend, to keep her company. However, Jade was acting stranger by the day. Making remarks about Kitana’s “Very sexy” outfit, or how her breasts would hurt sometimes and needed Kitana to rub them. Whatever, this was the last tournament she and Jade had to attend and then it would finally be over.
The American fighter had just finished his match with the Tarkatan general Baraka and was gloating about like some sort of fool. Kitana waited patiently for Shang Tsung to command, “Finish Him!” so she could finally take off these damn heels. However, the command was not spoken and Kitana was getting impatient. Kitana leaned over to see if Shang Tsung was aware of the fact that the match had ended. As Kitana was about to speak Shang’s name she heard a snore come from him. Shang Tsung was sleeping! The old sorcerer had his arm on his throne propping his head up so he could sleep like a spoiled infant. Of all times, damnit it was almost lunch break! “You are not going to hold up lunch break again old man!” Kitana thought. Kitana casually slapped Shang Tsung’s arm from under him and his head hit the arm of the throne with a loud ‘BONK!’ waking him up instantly.
“What, what!?” Shang Tsung exclaimed to no one in particular, “Finish her!”
“Him, sir” Kitana replied.
“Yes of course! Finish him!”
“Sorry broham but that ain’t me dawg. I just got this suit, I don’t want Snaggle-tooth’s blood all over me.” Johnny said.
“Very well” Shang Tsung retorted, “We shall continue this tournament tomorrow. Everyone is dismissed.” Shang Tsung waved his hand to signal for the guards to pick up the unconscious Baraka. With that out of the way, Shang Tsung stood up and made his exit to the cafeteria along with Kitana and Jade.
“Had a nice nap sorcerer?” Jade quipped. Kitana silently giggled.
“Shut up,” Shang angrily replied, “I did not get that much sleep last night.”
“But you went to bed at 9:30 like you always do sir.” Kitana said as they entered the cafeteria.
“Look,” Shang angrily said, “Just eat your lunch before I have you two give me a long sponge bath.” Both female assassins shut their mouths instantly. “Good, now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go and prepare your new co-worker for battle tomorrow. Goodnight ladies.”
Shang Tsung strolled out of the cafeteria area and left the two friends to go get their meals. Once Kitana and Jade acquired their meals, they sat down and began talking about today’s events. Shortly, after Reptile joined them at the table with his own tray. However, Reptile was not hungry for the time being and pushed his tray away and but his head down on the table. Kitana took notice of this and decided to see what the problem with their Reptilian friend.
“Hey what’s the matter Reptile?” Kitana asked.
Reptile replied, “Well, I losssst today and I got hit in the nutssss. I can barely walk or eat. On top of that, being the only Saurian here is making me seriously depressssssed.”
Jade patted Reptile on the back and said, “Buck up there kiddo! This is the finally tournament meaning if that if we win we don’t have to keep doing this for long. Plus you can have your race restored.”
“Winning sounds easier said than done. I mean that guy tore through me and Baraka without breaking a sweat.”
“You mean that wretched human with the dark eyes!” Baraka shouted as he sat down slowly with a ice bag on his balls and his head. “I swear I’ll kill him one of these days!”
“You sound like a typical villain Baraka” Jade said as she chuckled.
“Oh look who’s talking! All you and the princess over there have to do is stand there and look pretty. Half the time you can’t even do that right!” Baraka said.
Jade took her magical pole and extended it to the point where it hit Baraka square in his private part. Baraka fell back from the chair onto the floor holding himself and shouting obscenities. Jade was ready to continue the attack on the fallen soldier but Kitana stopped her friend.
“Now Jade you know Baraka didn’t mean what he said. We both know damn well that we look beautiful all the time.”
“Ain’t that the truth!” One of the mask guards says earning him a couple of laughs and a giggle from Kitana.
“Besides we’re all a little stressed out is all. This is the last tournament, if we start cracking under pressure then we’ll have to do it again. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we will not let that happen!”
The room erupted into cheers and applause. “Well at least I boosted some moral around here,” Kitana thought to herself. She was broken out of her thoughts when Jade hugged her.
“I don’t know what I would do without your wisdom dear friend.” Jade said.
Kitana replied, “Hey it’s nothing to think about Jade, I’m just here to help is all.”
“Well you are doing a fantastic job Kitana.”
The two friends stood there enjoying each other’s embrace. Suddenly, Kitana felt a low sucking wind around her ear. Was, was Jade sniffing her hair?
“I gotta go!” Kitana pushed Jade off her and hurriedly went to her room and closed the door behind her. “Why was Jade sniffing my hair? Did it stink?” Kitana sniffed her hair and it smelled of Edenian fruit, as it always did. Was Jade a lesbian? Kitana immediately shook the idea out of her head and took a bath. She followed up by brushing her hair and going to sleep. One day down, two more days of this hellhole job to go. Soon she would finally rule alongside her father and never sever for that shape-shifting pervert.
Meanwhile, in the empty cafeteria Jade, and Reptile we’re playing cards.
Reptile broke up the silence by saying, “So you haven’t told her of how you felt yet?”
Jade sighed and said, “Of course I haven’t. It’s so hard to do so! I mean she’s princess of Outworld for Elder God’s sake! I’m just,”
Reptile finished Jade’s sentence. “Part of the royal family also.”
“Of course I know that Reptile!” Jade retorted as she set down her cards, “I’m just afraid of what people would think if I did get in a relationship with her. Isn’t that sort of behavior frowned down upon?”
“Ya damn right ya carpet muncher.” Baraka stated.
Jade glared at Baraka who was still on the floor holding his manhood. Jade replied, “Why are you still here?”
“If you would recall, Jade, I was viciously struck in my special place twice in one day and cannot walk.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“The ******* in green of course.”
“Hey!” Reptile said.
Baraka chuckled, “Reptile you dumbass I’m talking about our female counterpart over here. For what it’s worth you confused homo, you shouldn’t care what people think of your relationship. Love whomever you want to love. Besides, you’ve been trained to kill people, if they don’t like it put that training to use.”
Jade replied, “You know that actually helps. Never thought I say this ever but, thank you Overbite.”
“Anytime carpet muncher.”
Jade stood up and stretched her arms and said, “Well I’m off to bed. Goodnight and wish me luck.” Both Baraka and Reptile acknowledge her leave with a goodbye. Reptile also stood up and began to walk to the door.
“Wait a damn minute you’re not going to help me to my room!” Baraka shouted.
Reptile replied, “Well you’re not exactly the lightest thing to carry Barry.” laughs at his pun, “Listen just hold out tomorrow, hopefully you’ll be able to walk by then.” Reptile turned off the lights in the cafeteria and headed to his room leaving Baraka in his lonesome. Baraka merely grumbled and tried to drift off to sleep on the cold concrete floor. He would have gone to sleep sooner if it wasn’t for two guards having a late night intercourse session for an hour and a half outside the cafeteria window. Baraka hated his job so much.