BecomingDeath13
New member
I apologize for its length everyone. It's so long I had too double post. Sorry I was writing this the past 2 hours though and I'd really like some feedback from anyone who can keep their interest through the whole thing. Thanks in advance.
Old wounds reopened
At home a man by the name of Allen sits down to watch the television as an urgent news report airs. "Okay, we've got some bad news for the town of Bakersfield. It appears that we've had quite a bit of dead bodies found in a very short time frame. We believe there is a mass murderer loose right here in this very town. Everyone this is urgent, Lock your doors, windows do everything that you possibly can to prevent anyone from entering your homes. Otherwise get the hell out of Bakersfield and find somewhere safe.. This is very important you must GO NOW!
*chattering off cam*
Okay, we just got word that apparently we've gotten some cameras in place at a local restaurant and the scene is just disturbing.. This is not for the feint of heart.. Your kids may wanna leave the room now. Patching it through in 5...4...3...2...
*image comes up on screen*
Okay as you can see here Oh god its just terrible. There is blood everywhere and... It's almost like a slaughterhouse. The body's are mangled and torn and the sight here is just so gruesome. Who could possibly commit such an act"??
*Cable feed statics and then dies..*
Hearing a thud from the back of the house Allen runs to check it out. In the laundry room he finds a note attached to a wall with a bloody knife. He removes the knife and reads the note.
"I've been looking for you... Allen. Do you remember me? I sure remember you. You stole my girlfriend from me. It doesn't make me happy. For 15 years I've sat and envisioned. Each and every way I wanted too get back at you. My anger and hatred has been consuming me more and more each and every second of each and every day. Till I just.... I JUST SNAPPED HAHAHAHAHAHA.. Now its my turn to find pleasure in other peoples torment. I hope you liked that news alert that you were watching. I know I sure did. Watch your back Allen I'll be waiting for you".
Allen puts down the letter as it all begins too sink in. One little kiss 15 years ago placed on the lips of someone that wasn't even in a relationship. Some girl Daniel was obsessed with. The names of the deceased so far have been determined and that girl was not on the list. Allen determines that she has got to be his next target. He knows she's out of town visiting her family. He grabs his keys and rushes out the door starting up his truck. He floors it out of the driveway and starts heading toward Jessica's location. He's forced to slow down and weave in and out of debris. Destroyed cars, crumpled motor bikes, and disheveled bodies that litter the ground. Daniel's maniacal and destructive path is almost impassible by automobile, but Allen finds a way through. "All this cannot possibly be the work of one single person ", thinks Allen. Thats when he sees it. This man a friend of his named Jeff is being chased by a guy shrouded in a black robe and hood carrying a machete. Allen jumps out of the car because of debris blocking the way and runs off trying to aid the man, but they are so far in the distance it may be impossible to catch him in time. By the time that thought entered Allen's mind the guy in black launched the machete from his hand and it impacts the jeff in his back. Jeff falls too the ground screaming in agony as the killer steps forward. He straddles the victim rips the machete out of his back causing another blood curdling scream. Opening his robe the hooded man reaches in and removes a steel wire. He grabs Jeffs head and hooks the wire against his throat. He places his foot on the back of the victims head and starts slowly sawing through the mans throat, blood spewing everywhere. He saws deeper and deeper into the throat more and more blood oozing out until finally.. pop. The head sliced free from the body. The hooded man sensing someone behind him turns and faces Allen. He removes his hood to reveal that he is far from human.. He borders the line of demonic looking. Throwing the severed head at Allen who covers his face and ducks to avoid it. The man vanishes into thin air. Gone just as quickly as he appeared.
Shaken by everything that just happened Allen finds another nearby vehicle on the other side of the debris with keys still in the ignition... It's Jeffs. Covered with blood the cars interior is, but it is functional and thats what Allen needs. He speeds off into through the rest of the day and well into the night. He stops at a convenience store for some sustenance and he grabs a map from the counter. As he's about to exit the store an employee yells "HEY you've gotta pay for that"!! Allen turns around and walks toward the man saying, "I'm sorry, with the blood on the floor I thought everyone was dead". "No", said the employee, "that isn't blood". "There were some wannabe bad asses in here earlier and they squirted out all the red hair dye". Allen apologizes and procedes to pay for the items. At that time he noticed the man has yet to blink and finds it a bit strange. He asks about it and gets no response. Not even an acknowledgement of his question. Allen reaches forward and the employee falls to the ground. A shrouded man behind him is spotted and releases a smoke screen to get away but Allen grabs him through it and throws him on the ground. He grabs a nearby pipe and stabs the figures eyes out. The figure doesn't make a sound and throws Allen off of him and into a shelf of cereal that falls over. The smokey man now blind reaches around for something he can use as a weapon. While he's doing that Allen gets up and grabs the guys neck from behind and snaps it. The smokey figure collapses too the floor. Allen then turns his attention to the employee that fell earlier. He notices a rip in the back of his shirt and that the entire back of his skull is missing.. There's just a wooden stick. He rips the shirt off the victim and finds a completely hollowed out back and spine.. The wooden stick running all the way down.. He wasn't an employee.. He was a human puppet. Completely grossed out by it Allen falls back and vomits uncontrollably. After about ten minutes pass he finally gets his composure back he heads out the door which slams behind him. He here's a snap and thinks nothing of it and gets in the car. However back in the store the smokey figures neck has twisted back into place and his destroyed eyes seemingly have dissolved into themselves as new ones formed. The figure gets up and watches as Allen drives away. After a pause the figure vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Old wounds reopened
At home a man by the name of Allen sits down to watch the television as an urgent news report airs. "Okay, we've got some bad news for the town of Bakersfield. It appears that we've had quite a bit of dead bodies found in a very short time frame. We believe there is a mass murderer loose right here in this very town. Everyone this is urgent, Lock your doors, windows do everything that you possibly can to prevent anyone from entering your homes. Otherwise get the hell out of Bakersfield and find somewhere safe.. This is very important you must GO NOW!
*chattering off cam*
Okay, we just got word that apparently we've gotten some cameras in place at a local restaurant and the scene is just disturbing.. This is not for the feint of heart.. Your kids may wanna leave the room now. Patching it through in 5...4...3...2...
*image comes up on screen*
Okay as you can see here Oh god its just terrible. There is blood everywhere and... It's almost like a slaughterhouse. The body's are mangled and torn and the sight here is just so gruesome. Who could possibly commit such an act"??
*Cable feed statics and then dies..*
Hearing a thud from the back of the house Allen runs to check it out. In the laundry room he finds a note attached to a wall with a bloody knife. He removes the knife and reads the note.
"I've been looking for you... Allen. Do you remember me? I sure remember you. You stole my girlfriend from me. It doesn't make me happy. For 15 years I've sat and envisioned. Each and every way I wanted too get back at you. My anger and hatred has been consuming me more and more each and every second of each and every day. Till I just.... I JUST SNAPPED HAHAHAHAHAHA.. Now its my turn to find pleasure in other peoples torment. I hope you liked that news alert that you were watching. I know I sure did. Watch your back Allen I'll be waiting for you".
Allen puts down the letter as it all begins too sink in. One little kiss 15 years ago placed on the lips of someone that wasn't even in a relationship. Some girl Daniel was obsessed with. The names of the deceased so far have been determined and that girl was not on the list. Allen determines that she has got to be his next target. He knows she's out of town visiting her family. He grabs his keys and rushes out the door starting up his truck. He floors it out of the driveway and starts heading toward Jessica's location. He's forced to slow down and weave in and out of debris. Destroyed cars, crumpled motor bikes, and disheveled bodies that litter the ground. Daniel's maniacal and destructive path is almost impassible by automobile, but Allen finds a way through. "All this cannot possibly be the work of one single person ", thinks Allen. Thats when he sees it. This man a friend of his named Jeff is being chased by a guy shrouded in a black robe and hood carrying a machete. Allen jumps out of the car because of debris blocking the way and runs off trying to aid the man, but they are so far in the distance it may be impossible to catch him in time. By the time that thought entered Allen's mind the guy in black launched the machete from his hand and it impacts the jeff in his back. Jeff falls too the ground screaming in agony as the killer steps forward. He straddles the victim rips the machete out of his back causing another blood curdling scream. Opening his robe the hooded man reaches in and removes a steel wire. He grabs Jeffs head and hooks the wire against his throat. He places his foot on the back of the victims head and starts slowly sawing through the mans throat, blood spewing everywhere. He saws deeper and deeper into the throat more and more blood oozing out until finally.. pop. The head sliced free from the body. The hooded man sensing someone behind him turns and faces Allen. He removes his hood to reveal that he is far from human.. He borders the line of demonic looking. Throwing the severed head at Allen who covers his face and ducks to avoid it. The man vanishes into thin air. Gone just as quickly as he appeared.
Shaken by everything that just happened Allen finds another nearby vehicle on the other side of the debris with keys still in the ignition... It's Jeffs. Covered with blood the cars interior is, but it is functional and thats what Allen needs. He speeds off into through the rest of the day and well into the night. He stops at a convenience store for some sustenance and he grabs a map from the counter. As he's about to exit the store an employee yells "HEY you've gotta pay for that"!! Allen turns around and walks toward the man saying, "I'm sorry, with the blood on the floor I thought everyone was dead". "No", said the employee, "that isn't blood". "There were some wannabe bad asses in here earlier and they squirted out all the red hair dye". Allen apologizes and procedes to pay for the items. At that time he noticed the man has yet to blink and finds it a bit strange. He asks about it and gets no response. Not even an acknowledgement of his question. Allen reaches forward and the employee falls to the ground. A shrouded man behind him is spotted and releases a smoke screen to get away but Allen grabs him through it and throws him on the ground. He grabs a nearby pipe and stabs the figures eyes out. The figure doesn't make a sound and throws Allen off of him and into a shelf of cereal that falls over. The smokey man now blind reaches around for something he can use as a weapon. While he's doing that Allen gets up and grabs the guys neck from behind and snaps it. The smokey figure collapses too the floor. Allen then turns his attention to the employee that fell earlier. He notices a rip in the back of his shirt and that the entire back of his skull is missing.. There's just a wooden stick. He rips the shirt off the victim and finds a completely hollowed out back and spine.. The wooden stick running all the way down.. He wasn't an employee.. He was a human puppet. Completely grossed out by it Allen falls back and vomits uncontrollably. After about ten minutes pass he finally gets his composure back he heads out the door which slams behind him. He here's a snap and thinks nothing of it and gets in the car. However back in the store the smokey figures neck has twisted back into place and his destroyed eyes seemingly have dissolved into themselves as new ones formed. The figure gets up and watches as Allen drives away. After a pause the figure vanishes in a puff of smoke.