how do you play gorf in mortal kombat deadly alliance?
Well.............
First you must register your profile name as "KWYJIBO." Then you need to to beat the game three times in succession using Bo Rai Cho and registering a flawless victory every round and successfully performing a fatality against each opponent. You also can't use any button except for the "Special Move" button, except when performing the fatality. You will know you are successful when, after you beat the game the third time, the dancing Kenshi behind the credits is accompanied by the dancing baby from Ally McBeal, the faux old guy from the old Six Flags commercials, seven chimpanzees, and perennial "So You Think You Can Dance" reject David "Sex" Soller. At this point, ensure your profile is saved and turn off your system. At this point, take your disc out and treat it with a solution of garlic, olive oil, feta, and Liquid Plumr. Then re-insert it in the system. Also, if you're playing the PS2 version, you'll want to obtain an egg white muffin melt from your local Subway and stuff it into the expansion port. Before turning the system on, strip down to your civvies and tie a Twizzler around each of your nipples and place a Viking helmet on your head. Then, say the words "Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Hiney Ho." Then turn on your system. If you did everything correctly you should now have been transported to another dimension which looks almost exactly like ours. You will only know you made it there because right after the transport, you will see Pee Wee Herman running naked down the street, chased by George Takei. The only other difference between that dimension and ours is that the McDonalds' there sell doner kebabs. Run to the nearest Mickey D's and buy a McKebab and bring it back to your house, all while still wearing the helmet and Twizzlers. Return to our dimension by eating your McKebab and tapping your heels together. Then, back to your game. You should see a new choice in the menu, labeled only "???????". Select this option, which will take you down the right hallway to an extra Krypt with only one tombstone, which requires 3,514,681,768,139,713 Onyx koins to open. You must have exactly that many koins. If you have less, nothing happens. If you go over, you will be killed in your sleep by Bob Barker. Once the tombstone is open, voila! You're playing Gorf. Hopefully, your Gorf skills are finely honed, however, as if you do not advance past "Space Cadet" your system will self-destruct.
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